Zachychan Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Hello, I'm new to this site and have been looking around the entire internet trying to find a situation similar to mine to see if there is hope for me and my ex to get back together, but I haven't found any situations like mine so I thought I would share. I feel as if there is hope because of the circumstances that I will explain later but I'm curious as to what others have to say because my hope comes and goes. Just a few facts about me and her to put things in perspective. I'm 21 and she is 1.5 years younger than me, but are separated by 2 years within the schooling system. We both go to the same university and work at the same place. Our hometowns are about 30 minutes apart, which is the next town over because we live in a rural part of the country. To start, we met at work when we both got hired in different departments of a retail store last July. We really didn't start talking consistently at work until probably late August. We didn't work much together up until that point and since we didn't work in the same departments, we didn't interact too much. Anyways, we slowly became friends at work but nothing really more than that because I was crushing on someone else and she was still in a relationship with a guy she ended up dating for 3 years. Then in late August/early September, she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. He didn't want to visit her in college (its is only a 1 hour drive from his house) and he ended up cheating on her at the very end. All around bad dude and although she was heartbroken, she knew it was the right decision. She started talking to another guy at the retail store a few weeks later but nothing serious came of it because those two were not compatible. While those two were talking, I stopped talking to the other girl I was crushing on at the time because I realized we were not compatible. Also around this time, I was on the bus coming back from class and I saw her walking along the sidewalk on campus. This surprised me because I didn't know she went to the same school as me and the next time I saw her at work, I asked if she went to my university and we started talking more and more in the coming weeks. She ended up living in the dorms directly next to my apartment complex on campus. One day I was returning from the store and she was coming back from work in early October (she had to park her car about 0.5 miles away and walked by my apartment complex to get to her dorm) and we crossed paths. We talked in front of my apartment for nearly 2 hours that night and exchanged numbers and snapchat info, ect. When I was about to leave I mentioned that I needed to go attempt to print a paper but my printer sucked and it would take me like 30 minutes to get it to finally print. She invited me up to her dorm to use her printer and we talked the rest of the night. I arrived at her dorm around 7 pm and didn't leave until 1 am and all we did was talk about life and get to know each other. At this point, we both knew something great was brewing. We snapped each other 24/7 for the next 2-3 weeks and we would hang out at each other's places nearly every chance we got. By Halloween, it was obvious we were going to get together but she wanted to wait because she felt it was too soon since she just broke up with her BF of 3 years about 2 months ago. I was fine with that because I knew we would get together and she was worth the wait. We ended up getting together a week later on November 7th, 2016. Our relationship was great. We both clearly loved each other and were great for each other. We only argued twice in the entire 7.5 month relationship and both times we made up within an hour and things were fine the next day. I don't believe we avoided confrontation either. We honestly didn't have many issues with each other. We constantly told each other how much we loved each other, how cute we thought each other were, and multiple times discussed how we thought we would be together forever. We went on vacation together just last month and it was great. We were even discussing possible vacations to go on next summer even last week. We had a lot of fun together and so many great memories and really the only bad memories being this breakup. So the past month or so was when things started feeling off between us. We both felt it but neither of us knew what was going on. There were no arguments, no cheating, nothing that really set it off other than distance and a lack of time IMO. I am still up at my university completing an internship I need to graduate and I'm working nearly 40-50 hours a week for the internship then another 10-20 for my actual job. She is back at home (an hour away) and is working about 20-30 hours a week. We rarely had time to see each other and when we did, it was at her grandma's house around her family and was only for a few hours before I had to go back to my university. We didn't go out and do much anymore and I take responsibility for that. I should have continued to treat her like queen even if I had limited time. I could tell she was upset on Saturday and when I asked if we were okay, she instantly got teary-eyed and told me things like "I don't see a future with you anymore" and "Idk what is wrong with me. I'm not excited about anything anymore" and the one that hurt me the most "I think there is someone else out there that is better for you than I am" which I disagree with 100000% because I think she is the one. I've never met someone as amazing as her and I doubt I ever will because she is so perfect for me for many reasons. Saturday night, we decided that we should give each other some space but that didn't last long because she snapped me 2 hours after I left her house. She snapped me Sunday morning and we talked for a little bit before the conversation turned back to our relationship and she ended up breaking up with me. I drove an hour down to her house to try to talk things about and while it didn't change her mind, she was appreciative of my understanding and love for her. She didn't think I'd be so understanding and respect her decision as much as I did. We left on good terms and while she didn't say anything about getting back together in the future, she said multiple times that this isn't the end of us, just the end of chapter 1 of our book. Her explanation was that things felt off and she didn't see a future with me anymore. When I asked why, she didn't really know, and I truly believe her because I don't know why things felt off either. I think the fact that I am gone a lot of the time made things tough on her because we were together nearly 24/7 the previous 6 months. Another factor that played into the breakup was the BF of 3 years contacted her Friday night, 2 days before we broke up. They didn't talk about much but she told me that she still thinks about him from time to time and she feels as if she is leading me on, which I never felt that way because she was with me and she isn't going to get back together with him (and I believe her). Also, I feel as if everyone thinks about their ex from time to time, especially within the first year or two of your two breaking up. She wants to take time apart and figure her life out. She has been stressed out and distancing herself from almost everyone in her life. I wish I could help her but she doesn't want help right now so I am leaving her alone and trying to use the No Contact rule for as long as I can (which will probably only be about 3 weeks because I have to move out of this apartment in 3 weeks and she still has a decent amount of things still here). In August, we will be living in the same apartment complex as each other (not living together, but will be neighbors like we were this past year) and will have more free time to spend together, along with other events like football and basketball games starting up again, which is something we both love to attend together. I feel as if there is a real possibility of getting back together but I was curious what everyone else thinks about this situation. I have been taking it pretty tough because this breakup blindsided me but I'm using this time apart to better myself (I think I understand why things felt off between us that I wouldn't have figured out if we were still together) and hopefully if/when she gives me another opportunity I'll be better prepared. If she doesn't give me another chance, I'll be a better person for the next girl. Any tips or comments? Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.