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I'm confused, Someone please help?


xcookie7x

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Okay, I have two problems I'm seeking advice on. First off- I *think* this guy has a genuine interest in me but I can't tell. We've been on 3 dates now. In person he seems a bit shy and awkward and like he's holding back on his personality/self but through text he seems less affectionate than I'd expect.. When we've hung out he's seemed to be a total gentleman and into me, he'll open my car door for me and pick me up without a problem and if he stops off somewhere he'll tell me ahead of time and ask if I want him to pick me up a drink. He's offered to pay for everything which I love the gesture- I'll make sure to pay for my food though at times. He's called me beautiful once, and the way he looks at me I do think he is aesthetically attracted to me. He even stays off his phone. Pulls out my chair for me etc. On the third time we hung out I had a little too much to drink (we're both 23) and I ended up kissing him a bunch. Once we got to my house to drop me off I kissed him a lot again and he kept his hands to himself and offered to help walk me to the door. All of this seems great, it's just through text he seems different. He'll initiate at times but I'm usually up before him so I do it most of the time, and we been talking every day for about 2-3 wks now. But I'll be like "good morning handsome, time to wake up" or sweet things along those lines and he'll reply so awkwardly it makes me feel like he's not into me like that. For example he'll reply "Ugh, I hate waking up before noon." or something. It's just strange to me..He's mentioned he has trust issues with women, it was in a joking way but I know he meant it. But then, we've texted and he's said "wow you're the best. and has also told me "you make me feel so good about myself." and on two occasions when i gave him compliments he's said "wow that just made my night." but that's really the most affectionate he's gotten with me through texting.. Also, we've sexted once..Not sure if that matters.. I'm just really confused on what this seems to be..

 

So, I have a few questions. Sorry to be a pain lol;

1. Should I ask him where this is going? Or should I just keep rolling with it and let it just become whatever it becomes? (I'd REALLY like to stay out of the fwb territory)

2. Should I wait and let him initiate us hanging out again? (I initiated the last time, setting the day, as it was for his post- bday lol. and bought him a drink.)

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Try doing more of your communication over the phone. I can only speak for myself, but I don't multitask over the phone, especially if it's serious and urgent as this appears to be. Text communication leaves a lot to be desired in terms of how quickly and frequently one responds. One can pretty much just pause the conversation when it's convenient to them. Plenty of nuances to communication are lost as well, which I think you might be misinterpreting.

 

And yes, ask him where it's going. Over phone, in person, your call. It's already gone too far w/ the sexting not to know what this is. The guy will more than likely give it to you straight if he respects and cares about you.

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Thanks for the help and insight. I am just afraid to ask because i dont want to put any pressure on him if its too soon to do so. His last relationship was sort of a mess. And i believe he was cheated on a few times in it hence saying he has trust issues. However the only "positive" on my part is he told me he is interested. (just never really implied it being necessarily a relationship) and when i offered to talk about his ex with him he said he didnt want to in fear of me feeling uncomfortable and dropping him. However he did do it with another female friend. I guess i just really dont want to fall into a fwb thing because im too sentimental. But i want to keep the sexual attraction going.

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