Thanks for your help

[SeeJ]

I am a recently dumped, and have realized or think I realize how stupid I was with this girl. I have never had difficulty with meeting or dating females and have always been able to leave it behind with the exception of one previously in my early twenties. This most recent relationship started about six monthes ago and was doing great. Then in February, I was at a party and walked in on the girl I was dating before her, naked with someone else. Although I had no interest in her, this somehow upset me greatly. This previous girlfriend and I have dated only shortly and I had ended it 1 month before I met the most recent one. She was needy, codependent and carried a lot of emotional baggage, overall not a good match for me.

The next day, I was withdrawn and felt as though I didn't want to be with anyone. I ended it with the current one, who I will furthur refer to as anna, that day. Shortly thereafter about a week or so, I realized I had made a mistake with her and I let something stupid effect me. We talked and got back together, now however I was insecure and it showed with ridiculous jealousy. This has driven her away from me. She dumped me approximately one week ago. She is the nost strong, beautiful and wonderful person I have met and I have fallen hopelessly in love with her (This is not usual for me). Over the twilight of our relationship, we began to tell eachother we loved eachother, even the day she left me she said that she did, but that she felt beat up by our recent events.

I realize that I took her for granted and that I never really tried to make her feel special now. And, everyday since we broke up I have been trying to show her how important she is to me. I feel that if you care, you should be open about it. I love her dearly, she said she loved me, I dont understand why she isnt willing to work out our problems. Neither of us are someone who takes those words lightly. So, even though I have texted her and sent flowers and called I have had no responses since. I am miserable and I cant get her to talk to me. Dont get me wrong, my text havent shown weakness, the have been friendly and confident and in none has the been any grovelling or begging.

So, I found this website and it has helped me cope with it somewhat. At first, I didnt agree with this NC stuff, I guess I still dont want to. I dont want to hide my feelings, I want her to know how much I care.

Please help

[gizza]

i no how tough it is when yer desperate to speak & cant keep calling or texting , i think text are the worse because you know they have read it & decided not to respond, i mean who doesnt carry their phone all the time ! At least if you call you might speak & if you leave a message you can kid yourself their out or something if you hear nothing!

 

i think that loads of ppl give good advise & i have tried to take it , unfortunately at the end of the day this girl will either make time for you or she wont , thats it

 

NC can work but then again 'out of sight out of mind' similary calling & texting does always come over as weak no matter what you think you've said shes read it as - weak

 

Dont wanna sound like these no hope but i do believe theres really not much anyone can do, its just so hard

 

believe me i know how yer feel

[SeeJ]

Thanks for the advice. I know that the best thing at this point is to back off. I am still miserable adn miss her. But.....life goes on and she'll be back, or I move on, or I decide if I want her back. Regardless, I am getting better everyday. I thank you all again.