angrybeaver Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 a little history first........i dont think i have technicly ever had a gf sad i know lol, yes i have went out on dates and what not but they have been for only like 2 or 3 times.....then we just kinda become friends.....story of my life....basically all the girls i have really liked in my life have become good friends instead of gf's.......and i just dont know why. One of my thoughts is that i just dont know how to be a bf only a guy friend. i have been talking to this girl online and tomorrow me/her and a bunch of friends are going to a concert........so basically i am just looking for some tips from people on how to end this cycle of just friends. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 i know a few guys in the same boat as you. what i think it is, is that when you meet a chick you like you arent aggressive enough to get what you want. youre probably too passive & too nonchalant & the messege just doesnt get through to her. and by the time you get so fed up & you spill the beans to her, your friendship is too well established & you get the old; "but youre just my friend. i dont see you like that." line. check this out.. stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html trust me you "nice guys" are appreciated by the girls who are worthy of your affection. don't lose hope. -DG724 Link to comment
angrybeaver Posted April 9, 2005 Author Share Posted April 9, 2005 hahahahaha lol that sounds all to familiar lol so the next question is how to be more aggressive without being overly aggressive? Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 well, when you meet a chick you like, be flirty. take your charm & your confidence & run with it! show interest in her. take her out & pay for her here & there. ask her more intimate questions as time progresses...past relationships, intimacy (if shes open about that kinda stuff), etc.. call to just say that youre thinkin about her, "hey whatsup you popped into my head so i figured id just say hello." show INTEREST! make first moves. dont be afraid of rejection. in life we all must face rejection at some point or another. and those who never do experience it, really dont live much. everything in life is either hit or miss. so dont hide in your shell out of fear. youll be missing out on a lot of great opportunities life has to offer. go for the gold baby! -DG724 Link to comment
shavski Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 goo you!!! i hope it all goes well! Link to comment
angrybeaver Posted April 9, 2005 Author Share Posted April 9, 2005 hahahaha lol yeah i know it is very true you never know unless you go for it. I just never know when to go for it lol and well what to go for......lol well i "know what to go for " lol but like on a first date say.......i never know if i should go for or when i should go for her hand........hold her........kiss her........ect lol YEAH for awkwardness Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 well maybe first dates arent the right times to do those things you listed. i know im not about kissing & holding hands on the first date. but instead; just show definite interest, compliment her, be friendly but flirty, ask to make future plans to hang out. just be honest with yourself & dont lose confidence. trust me, this will get easier in time. goodluck stud 8) . -DG724 Link to comment
angrybeaver Posted April 9, 2005 Author Share Posted April 9, 2005 hahahaha lol yeah i should not have said "first date" but in general never sure when to do thoes things lol and thx for the help Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 no problem. goodluck with everything. -DG724 Link to comment
DropToZero Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 Wow...I was about to post in this...but Dragongirl seems to know exactly what she wants and what advice to give lol....good luck angrybeaver Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 hehehe happy to help. 8) -DG724 Link to comment
angrybeaver Posted April 10, 2005 Author Share Posted April 10, 2005 lol well she most certainly does last night went very well if i do say so myself and there are plans in thw works for going to the movies on tuesday lol so thx again for all your help Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 awesome!! have fun! -DG724 Link to comment
mshollywod Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Well dragongirl, you seem to know your stuff. Maybe I should ask you from a female perspective to another female how to break the friend cycle. I have the same problem as anger beaver in terms of just becoming friends. I can't seem to get myself in a relationship. After the first couple of dates it's over. What should I do to make myself more interesting? Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 mshollywood, well with a name like that im surprised you need any help in making yourself seem more interesting. how is your confidence level when youre around a guy u like? do you flirt with them at all? how do you show the guy that youre interested in them? and if you ever hung out w/ your friends & your new crush how do you treat him special to separate him from your other pals? sometimes we have to make the first move. ya cant always rely on the other person. im asking you these questions, b/c i feel like itll help steer you in the right direction, & in a way im trying to figure them out myself. lol link removed -DG724 Link to comment
mshollywod Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 It's not so much that I'm not interesting cause I am a character but it's hard for me to keep guys interested. I only feel this way because whenever I go out with guys in never evolves into anything serious. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 then if its not you then it must be them..maybe youre going for the wrong kind of guys... -DG724 Link to comment
mshollywod Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Normally it's easy to blame the other party but some of it has to be me...I just don't know what it is. To answer your questions.. how is your confidence level when you're around a guy u like? I'm not that confortable as I am around a guy I don't like. Actually that's another problem of mine. I'll attract guys I don't like cause I am able to be myself and let loose and they mistaken that for attraction. The guy who I currently like, before I liked him, I was so comfortable around him it was sick but now all of a sudden I don't even know what to say cause I don't want to sound stupid or bore him to death. do you flirt with them at all? Not when I like them...I know very stupid. I'll tease them a little but that is about all. I'm going to try the imaginary pulling of the lint off your sweater/shirt approach and see what happens when I flirt with him like that. how do you show the guy that youre interested in them? Cheesy and smiley a whole bunch. I'm a dating amateur and if you ever hung out w/ your friends & your new crush how do you treat him special to separate him from your other pals? [/i] When he attended my birthday party it was obvious to everyone but him that I was interested. I tried to engage him with the group and spend equal time with everybody and once a good number of them left I hung out with him and his friend the rest of the night. A pretty good bonus is the fact that I've now met one of his best friends and his roommate and we all hit it off very well. I'm happy about that. Link to comment
DropToZero Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 The guy who I currently like, before I liked him, I was so comfortable around him it was sick but now all of a sudden I don't even know what to say cause I don't want to sound stupid or bore him to death. Sound familiar, but I usually see guys saying this. Good news, is that it can work for you too. I know Dragongirl has this post, but I'm just gonna put in my little words of wisdom. You almost sound....like somene I'd know...except I think her story is switched around compared to yours(vice versa). Um...well, the problem is that now you've realized that you're interested, and you're thinking WAY TOOO MUCH. You care way too much what this guy thinks about you, w/ your quote of not 'don't want to sound stupid or bore him to death'....you care too much of what he thinks of you, and that's making you nervous b/c you're thinking of every bad possibility you could say and the bad reaction that could come from it. Problem is this is hard to get rid of....you'll just have to learn to be like you were when you were first around him. You didnt like him before, so his ideas or thought about you never really mattered to you, and now they do...its just something you have to learn...to NOT CARE. Be yourself, be like you were, that's what go you where you are now, and thinking bout screwing up will only make it that much harder. Link to comment
mshollywod Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Sounds good I just hope I'm not too nonchalant where he begins and forever thinks of me as a friend. But I do need to be cool yet show I'm interested so he gets the hint to ask me out. Thanks for your input. Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 well ms hollywood, well going by what you wrote; younow see its written in black & white what you notice yourself doing wrong. you need to boost that confidence of yours into over drive & be your true self! you obviously have a great personality b/c u got guys fallin left & right...but jus not the ones you want. so kick out the old habits & flirt more. be yourself & know youre a great catch & instead of being so shy, show interest & let him know ur interested. goodluck. -DG724 Link to comment
ShySoul Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 mshollywod, I have the same problem at times, not being able to express myself when I like someone. The trick is to not think about things or worry about them. Don't start thinking "oh, he's so cute" or "i don't know what to say." Just be yourself and talk to him. The easiest way to wreck something is to get nervous about it. But when you stay calm and don't worry, things work out better. Link to comment
shavski Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 omg does mshollywod mean mis hollywood, hahaha wow!!! i thgt it waz ma sholly wod lmao!!!! sorry, i think its great! Link to comment
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