Norton360 Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 So I met a girl at work, and we hit it off and became something. Now throughout this time we were never really able to be public unless we weren't at work as there was no dating allowed since we were in the same department. This caused a few mind battles for me as that was my only time I got to really see her as her life was and still is pretty busy. She goes to school, and has a daughter. Throughout our time together I had created a bond with her kid, and the kid literally liked me more than anybody else. The father was always angry, and in this case jealous as when I stepped into their life I in a sense saved them from him. I helped them move out and start a new life at a new location. Now I did not stay with them at the new location, as I had my own things in life. The age Gap between my ex and I is 6 years with her being older. We had been together for over a year, and through that time we had our moments. Mostly caused by me, as I was too attached and didn't allow space when she asked for it. I am a very over caring person and always want the best for people. What I took in through the relationship I had with this girl, she wasn't really into that affection and needing the care all that much as she was strong minded and could take care of herself. That was a trait that I admired about her. When there was times the father of the child acted out I was always there to help her and her child. She now recently has said she wants to bring up child support which is something I said right off the bat, but she declined for whatever personal belief. After she ended the relationship, the day after Valentine's day, she advised that she didn't want to stop being friends but said being partners is something that may never happen again. Maybe in the future but not right now. So we kept in contact since then. She is graduating with a master's degree in an amazing field soon, and just recently, mid March, got a good job that utilizes it's potential. I was so proud of her when she got it. I was the first one she told about it as well. We talked about celebrating and everything but it never occurred. Since the break up I have hung out with her and the child a few times. She had Saturday classes and with cutting the father out the picture, there was nobody she really could trust with her kid so I told her I could always watch after her. That is what I have done a few times, which is great as the kid adores the time we spend together, but it breaks me as I feel like with doing that it could or would help build a bond back with my ex. This past holiday weekend she went to the beach, the week leading up to it was her birthday. I sent flowers for both mother's day and her birthday. I sent flowers and chocolate on her birthday as a present. And she posted it to her Facebook saying I was a lovely kind sweet person. I promised her I would take her out for her birthday she would just have to let me know when a good time was. She agreed. Now I spent the whole day with her yesterday as she had class and wanted to get her hair done. I did this kind of hang out while we were still in a relationship and it was great as I would always take pictures afterwards and we would spend hours together after. That is exactly what happened. I went over from 8am-after midnight. Spent the whole day basically. We went to a car wash, had lunch, and went to get my ex's hair done. Before driving she would always pray and most of the time went and grabbed my hand. Now at one point during the evening she showed me a video on her phone then went to do laundry leaving the phone with me. During this time for whatever reason the phone when it went to landscape for the video it jumped to her recent app which was her text messages. She has an iPhone. She had a code we needed to use to pick a package up. Now trying to get back to the video I stumbled across some text messages between her and a guy. Curisoity got the best of me I guess. This other guy is the person she went to the beach with. She told me she was going with some friends and in the back of my mind I sorta felt like it was with a new guy as she is extremely attractive and I don't see her without a guy figure in her life for a short period of time. Now the messages that were viewable as I didnt scroll or open too many things as it was honestly an accident opening it in the first place, the messages were sending me back to our climax relationship. She randomly texted asking how his day was and it seemed like he drove home after the beach and she kept texting asking if he got home safe with 😘 (kissy face) never saw love you and what not. This destroyed me as I had been there all day thinking we were getting some where as she was the one to invite me over just on Thursday out of the blue. In the past few months when we hung out and even yesterday we would be at places holding hands and being close. Stumbling across the things I found felt like my brain shattered like glass and I could see it crumble from a distance. Now I did not say anything or ask about what I saw to her as it is not my place to intrude after basically doing it through her phone, which I know I shouldn't have. I just have so much love for her as the relationship that we had together was my first true love experience. When I left last night I drove for quite some time. Before leaving I hugged both her and the kid and kissed my ex on the forehead wishing them a good night. My ex told me text her when I got home, but with the findings I found it had me on edge. I went and got gas then tried finding a place to cool down before actually going home. During that time I lost track of time and forgot she asked for me to text when I got home. She messaged both on Facebook and through SMS. I did not receive the Facebook one till I got home but the SMS came through at that moment and I was shocked she was still awake and wanted to check. I advised her that I was on my way and that I had gotten gas and I will text her when I arrived home. Which 10 minutes later is what occurred. I did not receive a text back after the initial text advising what I was doing nor when I got home. I took it as she had fallen asleep. I couldn't sleep last night as she was the only thing on my mind. I am just in a confused state on how somebody can do this to someone they once loved, or maybe loved. I understand she wanted to stay friends, and by doing that situations occur that shouldn't affect the friendship as the two aren't a thing anymore, but I was really hoping we were working on rekindling the relationship we once had together. Now knowing the information I saw and with no confirmation from her, I don't know what I should do. She said that we can hang out again next weekend, but knowing what I know now puts a weird taste in my mouth. This morning I still never received confirmation from her after texting that I got in last night. Tldr ex broke up with me, which hit me hard at first but I moved on rather quickly. Kept contact as she wanted to stay friends. I feel like I have and am being used which I know I am, but the feeling of getting back together is still in my mind. Not sure how to cope with the feeling that she has someone new and is keeping me around and treats me like we're closer than friends when we are together. I feel like an idiot for keeping the contact, which I can't seem to lose or want to lose. I know that if I keep it then this will continue to happen. Link to comment
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