For the boys..Do you string us along?

[Spirits Away]

I think I know what type of guy you are Gersanos. Very social, but lacks the capability to sense another's feelings. When i see you guys talk to girls, you'll think you're talking, but in my eyes, I would see you're flirting. Normally, we tend to act a little bit cold to the girls we're not interested in the first few meetings just to let them know we're not interested in anything more than friend, and then as time passes, we talk more. But you're the friendly all the way kind of guy, so you'll have more chance to mislead girls.

 

What may be appropriate solution for you would be to be social to all the girls in the area just so that they know they're not getting any special attention.

 

greenie35, the guy may think you're cute. But he may not have the attraction for you *yet. So he may not have the urge to get to know you better. Plus, it's better to not think that he knows. You just dont know how slow guys can be. When some girls reciporcate attraction, they tend to send exactly the opposite signals of what they want to achieve. Like not looking at him (don't notice us), or leaves immediately after he's there (rejecting us), or not talking to him (don't notice us).

[gersanos]

When i see you guys talk to girls, you'll think you're talking, but in my eyes, I would see you're flirting.

 

BINGO! I will talk with any woman in the world, and be friendly with her, unless of course she has this very negative vibe coming from her then I'd ask her what her beef is. This friendly type of nature is construed by many, if not most, as flirting and/or a sign of interest.

 

Same thing goes if I meet a new girl and we hang out, nothing formal, strictly casual. People will sometimes ask me, "How was your date with so and so?" And I react, "Date? What date, we were just hanging out." Then I'm told that I'm stringing her along.

 

In no way do I do this intentionally, and unfortunately, I do not act cold to someone when I first meet them.

[Spirits Away]

That's why i didn't tell you to treats girls cold, cause you're not that type of person. What's more the appropriate solution for your personality would be to give attention away to every girls so that they wouldn't think they're getting any special attention from you. I personally don't think you should change your approach to girls. It's perfectly normal to have varieties amongst people. Just show them you don't have romantic interest in some other way.

 

Forget about the guys who tells you that you're stringing her. They often take "meeting up with girls" so strongly that they put restriction and limitation for themselves to initiate anything with girls.

[gersanos]

Forget about the guys who tells you that you're stringing her

 

Oh no, it's never the guys that tell me this, it's the girl's that I am friends with that tell me this. Maybe I am not best at sensing feelings among others, but I do know that other people have them as do I. I think I can come accross as insensitive by leading them on in this way, even though that's not what I meant to do. I mean, all we did was just hang out and/or talk.

[greenie35]

Update..for anyone who cares...

 

I went into work yesterday all confident ready to talk to him if the oppurtunity presented itself. HE was the first person I encountered when I walked in. In passing I looked up with a smile and said hi. Normally I kinda look at him for a second and then look down. HE said hi in a quiet sorta voice with a bit of a look of surprise on his face...nothing too spectacular. Whatever. So later I needed some help with my machine and saw this as my oppurtunity to talk to him. After about 5 minutes of deep breathing I made my way over to him to ask for his help. Well two other people were in the room he was in. I didn't expect that. So instead of directing it to him...I just said I needed a hand with something and the other two peple got up to help me. So that sucks...timing was bad. If he had been the only one in the room I'm suer he would have helped me out. I don't get this guy man...for two weeks straight he'll be giving me some seriously sexy looks then he'll chil out out for a week...and I just give up on it...then he'll throw me a look again...and I tailspin ...it sucks...he's a tease. At first I couldnt believe the looks he was giving me...I am 25 years old I know a sexy come hither look when I see one. Only thing I can think of is...my bashfulness is sending him mixed signals...and he's not sure if he's making me uncomfortable or getting me hot. Well If I had the courage I would throw him up against the wall and...well...ya know...

 

so there!

[greenie35]

I know this isn't the poetry thread but it's relative to the last post:

 

 

 

a subtle wonder...an incomplete gaze

broken by fragments of limelight...

in the midst of tiny seconds...lust mediates

[ksk0_0]

Hey there gentlemen...quick question for you...

 

We would probably all agree that flirting is fun for everyone, but do you ever flirt with girls you're not interested in just to get a rise out them? IF so, assuming you weren't interested in pursuing anything with them, would you continue to flirt with the same girl just to boost your ego/self-esttem. Let's say that you are pretty sure the girl is into you.

 

I'm a huge flirt, it's with ANYBODY lol

[candieeeegirl]

I'm a huge flirt, it's with ANYBODY lol

 

even if ur not attracted to the person? come on...u wouldnt flirt with an unattractive girl would u?

[ksk0_0]

I'm a huge flirt, it's with ANYBODY lol

 

even if ur not attracted to the person? come on...u wouldnt flirt with an unattractive girl would u?

 

I wouldn't flirt AS much with an unattractive person as to a decent looking girl but there'd be one or two there. I'm a crazy/outgoing guy so no one knows what the hells ganna happen anytime

[gersanos]

even if ur not attracted to the person? come on...u wouldnt flirt with an unattractive girl would u?

 

Why not? It's flirting. Nothing wrong with that. If anything, you should do it with as many people as you can, because the more you do it, the better you get at it.

[Spirits Away]

Green, just remember that he didn't have the chance to choose what to do when you talked to him. It's simpily a reaction. You've got him from living automatically to controling it himself even for a split second. It all depends on his part to do the reverse (after he had the chance to wonder what happened).

 

 

Why not? It's flirting. Nothing wrong with that. If anything, you should do it with as many people as you can, because the more you do it, the better you get at it.

 

yeah... I remember a time when a girl did that to me. My only lesson was that there are people who aren't taking things seriously. In the meanwhile, i'm shattered to pieces. If you think it's right, then go for it. My only suggestion would be to do that on ones who have more experience so they would know there is a possibility that you aren't taking things seriously.

[Shidoshi]

There is this girl who works at the gym I go to 3x a week. I caught her staring at me one time but I just looked away after a while. She would pass by me pretty often to get my attention. I knew what she was trying to do because I was looking at her in the mirror checking me out. I then decided to return the eye contact and confirmed she was into me. Only problem is that I kind of ignored her at times when I'd pass by the front counter, and I think she has become defensive because of it.

 

Basically, she tries to avoid contact with me now, or atleast she wants me to get the impression that she's over me or something. I should know better by now, but I am still a shy guy at heart, and she is pretty attractive, which I'll admit was a little intimidating being that I usually take most initiative with girls who are more average looking. Don't let your contact with this guy end up like this. Talk to him, continue just being friendly so things don't become awkward like they did for me in my situation. I'm still kicking myself over it.....

[greenie35]

Basically, she tries to avoid contact with me now, or atleast she wants me to get the impression that she's over me or something. I should know better by now, but I am still a shy guy at heart, and she is pretty attractive, which I'll admit was a little intimidating being that I usually take most initiative with girls who are more average looking. Don't let your contact with this guy end up like this. Talk to him, continue just being friendly so things don't become awkward like they did for me in my situation. I'm still kicking myself over it.....

 

Yeah, that's great advice...that's exactly what I do. I act like I don't care, and he comes at me again with those eyes. At this point I'm starting to feel offended. I'm good enough to look at but not talk to. I mean it's been months and I know nothing about him except what I hear from other people.

[gersanos]

Maybe I should elaborate on my previous post about flirting. What I was getting at with that was simply talking. Nothing that involves touching, or trying to hang on or around the other person.

 

Communication is a skill, and a part of flirting. The more you do it, the better you become at it. And it should be practiced with as many people as you can regardless of age, gender, race, etc. In time you'll find yourself comfortable doing it with anybody, and you won't be all choked up when you see someone that you really are ihterested in getting to know.

 

Sorry for any miscommunication (oh, the irony) about that last post.