advice please!!

[kirstyski25]

Before am at my wits end - I dont knwo what to do, I should be concentrating on work but my mind keeps thinking about my ex and I burst into tears. I spoke to him the other day and it was a friendly conversaation and he said that he had been out with two girls but nothing happened,. my heart broke, I asked him why and he said he was not going to sit around and do nothing. I then asked him what was happenign with us - he said he did not know and he would speak to me this week in person. Do you think he thinks about our relationship at all? Or is this the final bye?? I am sitting here in tears thinkign as he is the one that dumped me after a year does he think of the good times or the bad times?? This is killing me and I can not eat at all or sleep. My diet consists of cig and alcohol. Thats it as the pain hurts too much

Now: As he is coming round on the Friday for his clothes, and him saying he wants to talk... i am not usre hwta to do. I have packed all his clothes all ready but where should i leave them? In the kitchen next to the front doow? in the hallway? In the bedroom? See as he wants to talk I am confused as where to put them and if he sees them next to the front door what would he think???

[lilsmc]

why did he decide to break up with you?

[kirstyski25]

I do not know.,we have had arguments, but not that nmany. I thought we were really happy, and then one day bam! He said three words "we are over" i asked him to leave... that was it. Nothing. i broke down in tears and still cant forget him, and then i called him the other day and he said the above. i am so confused. We were going out for a year doign everything together, we were best friends, soul mates, etc.... the sex was crap though once in a blue moon!! So i have no idea.... he sent me a text saying he had a girlfreiend after the break up but i found out that was a lie and he wanted to get reaction out of me, but i did not give him one. Now he says the above..... oh i dont know what to do.

[lilsmc]

Maybe that's what happened, you two were doing everything together and spending way too much time together. Seeing the same person everyday gets tireing and thats how arguments also start. I mean yeah you love him and want to be with him, but think of it as you also need time for your friends. Have a serious talk with him about everything that has been going on. It also seems like he's trying to play mind games with you by telling you that he has a girlfriend and then lying to you because he juss wanted to kno what your reaction would be. It's obvious he doesnt know what he wants. Give yourself time to think about things. If you two decide to get back together than talk about things that could make your relationship better, because if You don't... then you will end up in the same situation along the road. There is a lot ot thinking involved, and the worst thing you could do is get back with him because you felt comfortable around him and miss the things you used to do ( it's obivous you will after spending so much time together!!) Get back with him because you truly believe that things could work out!!!

[kirstyski25]

Oh i hope so coz i love him so much, but with his clothes... what do i do with them?? at the front door? in the bedroom??? i will take your advice and cool around him on Fri, thats the only way to be even though i will be killign inside i wont show him. But the fact that this could be the last time i ever see him that kills me .

[JT]

In order to move on..you need to not talk to him. The fact that he still cares warms your heart, but at the same time you cannot deal with what he's telling you. The only way to get over him fully is to not speak to him. By doing what your doing your increasing and prolonging your pain ten fold.

[providentielle]

I think in a communal room but not right at the door sounds like a good idea. I think if you are going to get over this guy though you need to have more understanding of why the relationship ended.

[justsweetgirl]

He ended it, didn't tell you why and speaks freely of meeting/dating other women knowing how hurtful this is to you. I would leave his things outside the front door. Even if it killed me, I would not answer the door or speak with him at this point. I wouldn't even be home, I would go to a friend's. He has all the power and you have none. You are not eating or sleeping. You need to have no contact until you are stronger. Being this dependent on anyone is lethal. I wish you well.