I have been through so much...when is enough, enough?

[mskc0511]

My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary this past weekend. For the past few months we have been going back and forth arguing about our future. We only see each other on the weekends because we live so far away from each other and because we are busy.

 

For the past 3 years I have been with my bf our plans for the future were that he would move closer to me to go to to school. It was only to be one year at first and ended up as three. I stayed with him because I love him so much and I wanted to be there for him with his struggle through school.

 

This time last year he was supposed to be living closer to me so we wouldnt have to go through such pain and anguish of our separation. I thought that it would be happening this year, but now I have to wait unitl next year. Because we only can see each other on the weekends, our relationship seems to be at the same level it was 2 years ago despite the level of love for him.

 

I know that he cannot move closer to me now, however, it is difficult to be happy in this relationhsip knowing that I have to wait another year after being disapointed after two years. I dont want to break up with him because I love him too much.

 

I try to look to the future and be positive, but it is difficult when I have been hurt and disappointed so many times before.

 

I need something that can help me deal with the pain and frustration I have knowing that I have to wait another year to truly be with my man. What can I do?

 

 

Thanks

[QTpie87]

man, it sounds complicated. so you've graduated right? or not? If so how come you can't move closer to him? Are you married?

[mskc0511]

I have one more year, and no we are not married nor enganged. I would move closer to him but I am already close to where he wants to be.

[QTpie87]

ok..hhmmm. wow that is even more complicated then I had thought. My friend is going through the same thing only she is married. huh. well why wont he move there now? that's odd.

[mskc0511]

He cant move down here now because he takes care of his family, they cant drive, etc., and they are the ones that are going to be paying for his education so he just cant just get up and leave because it would be like he is walking out on his family and who is to say that they would help him pay for school when the time comes. The way they would see it, why does he need to move somewhere else until he transfers to a university, when he can stay here for free.

[melrich]

I guess you have to accept that at different times in your life you will have different priorities and they may not always match your partners. A year is a long time but if you think about it in the context of the rest of your life it won't seem so unbearable. It is right that you are both concentrating on finishing school and establishing careers, it will make things so much easier for you both in the future.