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mskc0511

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Everything posted by mskc0511

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together in a committed relationship for over 4 years. We are both somewhat young, I am 21 and he is 22, we are high school sweethearts. In April we decided that we were going to move in together after a semi-long distance relationship. We go to different schools that are about and hour and a half away. I was fed up with the distance and said that I couldnt deal with it anymore, and that is what prompted the move. We have gone through continuous conflict with this new step that we are taking as far as family, work and school are concerend. There seems to be more bad feelings about the move than good feelings. For the past few weeks, my boyfriend has become much more hostile and less understanding. Any time something comes up he automatically puts up a defense. I can tell him that he has hurt my feelings or something that he has done bothers me and his attitude is like,..."well. get over it". We will be moving August 31st and I understand that it is a strenuous situation for the both of us, more so for him and I am trying to be the bigger person, but a woman can only be pushed so far. I leave messages telling him that we need to talk, and he ignores me. I figure that this is not the time that we need to separate ourselves from one another being that in three weeks we will be living together. He understands that as well. I just dont undertstand why he is acting that way. Is is me, or is it the situation? His attitude is beginning to make me doubt this new step we are about to take. What do I do? What can I say to him to make things right? A confused one
  2. He cant move down here now because he takes care of his family, they cant drive, etc., and they are the ones that are going to be paying for his education so he just cant just get up and leave because it would be like he is walking out on his family and who is to say that they would help him pay for school when the time comes. The way they would see it, why does he need to move somewhere else until he transfers to a university, when he can stay here for free.
  3. I have one more year, and no we are not married nor enganged. I would move closer to him but I am already close to where he wants to be.
  4. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary this past weekend. For the past few months we have been going back and forth arguing about our future. We only see each other on the weekends because we live so far away from each other and because we are busy. For the past 3 years I have been with my bf our plans for the future were that he would move closer to me to go to to school. It was only to be one year at first and ended up as three. I stayed with him because I love him so much and I wanted to be there for him with his struggle through school. This time last year he was supposed to be living closer to me so we wouldnt have to go through such pain and anguish of our separation. I thought that it would be happening this year, but now I have to wait unitl next year. Because we only can see each other on the weekends, our relationship seems to be at the same level it was 2 years ago despite the level of love for him. I know that he cannot move closer to me now, however, it is difficult to be happy in this relationhsip knowing that I have to wait another year after being disapointed after two years. I dont want to break up with him because I love him too much. I try to look to the future and be positive, but it is difficult when I have been hurt and disappointed so many times before. I need something that can help me deal with the pain and frustration I have knowing that I have to wait another year to truly be with my man. What can I do? Thanks
  5. I havent posted in a while, but now i think it is time. My boyfriend and I have been together over 3 and a half years. We have a long distance relaltionship because we live an hour and a half away from each other. We are both in college and he is trying to transfer to a university closer to mine. He was supposed to transfer 2 years ago. He didnt last year, and this year was basically the last draw. The one class that he needs to transfer he struggles with, and I understand that. The same class that he is taking now he took last fall. He dropped that class because he didnt like the teacher, in the winter it was too fast, and now he just cant pass. He wont be passing his class which means that he wont be moving any closer to me any time soon. I think that I have been pretty patient as far as he transferring to a school closer to me, being that is should have happened two years ago. I dont know that he expects of me now. We havent talked since we found out that he probably wont pass the class. I dont know what to do? Should I continue to be more patient or give him in ultimatem, or end it right now before we have to go through any more agony. Thanks A woman in distress
  6. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. We are in somewhat of a long distance relationship and it gets worst and worst as time goes on. Not that our relationship gets worse, just the fact that we are not together gets harder and harder on us. We should be able to see each other more in about 6 months. That is an estimate now, but years ago we had estimates that did not pull through. Two years ago it was a a year that we had to wait. A year ago it was another year, and now it is six months. I dont want to loose my boyfriend because he means everything to me and I know that he feels the same way. We have gotten to the point where we want to further our commitment, but we dont have many options left. We both agree that we are not ready for marriage but we need to do something so that we both have some reasurrance about our relationship. We have committment charms that we got a year and a half ago, but we both need more at this point in our relationship. At first he didnt understand the point of getting engaged since we would not be able to be married anytime soon. But we now understand what it would represent. It means so much more than just getting married. Should we just wait and wade things out or go ahead with it and do what we want? THaNks...appreciate it
  7. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, however we dont see each other for but once a week. The past few weeks have been rough on our relationship and we were not talking for a few days. That never happened in our relationship. We are talking now and are on good terms. Lately, I have been attracted to a couple of guys, not only physically, but I like them, like them. I havent tried anything, I just feel guilty about the feelings that I am having. I can see them more and things like that. Over the past few years, I didnt have to go thorugh that . Am I feeling this way because of the problems I am having with my boyfriend? I feel so guilty. Should I tell him to know that I have other options and not to take me for granted. I dont know what to do. It is tearing me up inside. I dont think that it is worth it, but should I be worried about feeling the way I do and hope that it doesnt get out of hand. Should I be worried, should my boyfriend be worried? Im so confused. Thanks
  8. My boyfriend and I have been together since highschool. I will be a junior in college in the fall and he will be transferring to a university. For the past three years we have been together we have seen each other once a week on the weekends because we live a distance from each other. Now because I am already at a university he was going to try to go to my school are a university that is somewhat closer. The distance has been really hard on our relationship and we have been holding out to see where he goes so we can be together. His performance in school this year shows that there may not be a great chance that he goes to my school. There is alot of negative energy out this. Nevertheless, within the week we will know where he gets accepted. He feels that there is alot of pressure on him and I agree because it feels like this is the last draw on our relationship. I dont know how to feel about the situation. I try to be supportive but he still feels bad because we both know what the outcome may be. He is very sensitive to this subject and I try not to talk about it but I am so anxious. Should I not ask him about it and leave it alone and let him come to me? This week is somewhat stressfull because of this. Should I not think about it and ignore it? What do I do if the news is not good? What other options do I have? Thanks
  9. My bf and I have been together for over 3 years so we have been through a lot. He is the quiet type and he has some trouble sharing his feelings like most guys do. Lately there have been things dealing with school that he doesnt want to tell me. Is not like I am his parents or anything. He says that I am too abrasive in my opinions. The reasons he gave me werent legit because they had nothing to do with what I had done in the past. I am very strong with my opinions but I am very open to him and comforting because I know that it is diificult for him to share his feelings. He does express himself sometimes but there is a lot of hesitation. I dont know what to think. Is it me or is it him? Is it something I have done? I try to make the situation better by giving him ideas on how to make the situation better but he sees that as me ridiculing him. I dont know what to say. Should I just be like "everything will be ok, dont worry about it" and maybe lie to him. No I dont think so. Im in a tight spot because i dont know what to think about this? Is there something else behind this or am I overreacting? ThAnKs!!!
  10. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and for the past few months he and I have been going thourgh a hard time. We only see each other on the weekends because we go to different schools. The majority of the communication in our relationship is over the phone because we dont see each other. Lately I have been going through a hard time and I have needed his support. Anytime I say whats bothering me he usually doesnt say anything. The onlytime he tries to help me out is when he is with me face to face. He doesnt know why he does that, I think the affect is greater when he actually sees me crying. I asked hm months ago to try to act that way over the phone, nicer, more easy to talk to, like he is listening. However, nothing has changed. Its pointless for me to confide in him when he deosnt say or do anything. Does he have a problem or is it me? What should I say to him? Is this worth going on a break? Thanks
  11. For the past few months I have been really depressed. Anything that excites me or that makes me happy in my life seems to always be interfered by something so it doesnt turn out right. My 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend did not for example. The things that would possibly make me happen are completely out of reach and I cannot have them. My boyfriend always says to just not think about it but that doesnt help me...it is just a postponement on the situation. Eventually I feel the way I do today. I feel like crying for no reason. I guess thats because I dont know when or if anything good will be happening in my life. I feel like Im just here. It is difficult for me to be optimistic about my life because when I am bad things always happen. But I try not to be pessimistic either. How can I look at the situation to make my self feel better? What can I do to see my life differently? I dont know the answers to these questions, otherwise I would do something about it. Thanks
  12. I would recommend trying it in the shower, because if it gets messy you can always rinse off quickly. That is what I do. It would make her feel more comfortable and maybe take away the messyness.
  13. All I have to say is ...EXPLORE!!! There are many positions out there and just be creative. Just know that some may be uncomfortable for some while others find them enjoyable. I would have to say the best positions are when you can see your partner and you can look into their eyes. There are many positions of love making that allow this.
  14. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and lately he and I have been going thorugh alot of conflicts. Valentines day weekend was great however there is always something that kills the moment. He told me something that deals with educational career that did not necissarily make me happy, however, I tried to be supportive and not get upset. But the naxt day I began to think about the things that he said and what could happen in the future. Those things would not be so great. Even though he tries to make me happy there is always something that I am not happy with about him. He is tired of it and so am I ....but what am I supposed to do...I know I should stop but I cant stop thinking about the negatives even if I try. Is breaking up is all that is left. Thanks Appreciate It!!!
  15. We have been together for about 3 years and we have something special planned. However, I dont know what to get him. I have little things to give him but I want to top it off with something good, yet not too expensive. Since we dont see each other but once a week, last year I gave him a small photo album with pictures of me in it. Only me. I dont know what ot get him this year. I am in desperate need of help...something creative...something nice. Thanks
  16. All i have to say is ask yourself is sex that important to your relationship. If she means that much to you ...sex shouldnt be a priority. I can understand that she may have a sex drive problem, but have you ever tried to help the situation. I have a similar problem because my boyfriend doesnt think that I want to have sex...I am just not in the mood. The way that I see it...if sex is that important to him then he needs to help me get in the mood and not just sit there and act like I am supposed to be in the mood. Sometimes girls need a little motivation...thats all. I can understand your frustration, but if she is worth it to you then you should do what you can to keep her and respect her. Dont make her feel bad about the situation because she cant help it. Try to make it better because it will show that you care and that you are not insensitice to the situation.
  17. My borfirend and I have been together for three years...we have had our ups and downs but we have never went on a break. I dont want that but it seems like we need it. Last night we had an argument about alot of stuff. I came to the conclusion that even though he has issues with me he doesnt say anything ...and in the end it makes things worse. He will acknowledge it but he never says what he will do to fix it. If I dont say what he should do it will stay the same. MY boyfriend is very quiet and because he doesnt tell me when he has issues with me I have to drag them out him or get him mad at me so he will tell me what is wrong with him. Unlike me who will tell him straight out what the problem is. I end up looking like I have alot of issues with him and that he is the bad guy even though he is not. We can have conversations about things like this and find the problem however, nothing is ever solved...I get tired of always having to solve things...is that wrong....he is so content with everything...I dont know what else to do...Im stuck...cause Im tired of always proposing things to do...I have told him that the way that he communicates with me is bad for our relationship and he knows that however he continues to do nothing.... Would a break be the right thing to do so he can see what it is like without me and not take me for granted because I think he does...if he thinks that I am gonna deal with him not talking he has another thing coming... What should I/we do...? Thanks
  18. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years. I know that we havent done everything in the book however I have trouble thinking of ideas that would make the evening very special for Valentines day...i mean incredible...Any ideas....let me know....Thanks
  19. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years since high school. Were are both in college and there may be a possibility that he will be transfereing to a my school or one nearby. We have discussed living together if this happens. Now all of a sudden , that it is getting close to these decisions...he thinks that it wouldnt ba a good idea. As of right now...our relationship is at a stand still because any decsions that we make depend on where he ends up going to school..Mind you we only see each other once a week. We said that we were gonna do all of these things but now.l..if things work out in our favor that we wont be doing what we said that we would. If he does end up moving near my ..I dont know where our relationship could go then...would it still stand still like it is now...or is there a possibility for progression. I dont know what other steps to take to move on in our relationship. I would like to get ingaged but I know that he doesnt think that the time is right. Its seems to me that he is afraid....how does it seem to you? Is there anything else that we can do to further our relationship? He seems content with it ...I guess because of his opiinions about everything. What do you think that we should do and do you think that he is afraid to committ? Thanks
  20. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we are both in college however we go to different schools. We live about an hour ...hour and a half away from each other and we have jobs and stuff so we can only really see each other on the weekends. I am at a university and he is at a junior college. He was supposed to transfer this year but things prevented that...he will be transfering in the fall. The thing is that there is a big possibility that he wont be going to a school near me. He and I have had this long distance relationship since we have been together. I dont know how much longer I can hold out especially knowing that there is a bigger chance of him going to a university farther away than he is to me now. If he did end up going to a school near by we discussed getting an apartment together....but he doesnt sound to thrilled about it. NOt that he doesnt want to ....but at the sametime not like he does. Any time that I bring up how I wish that he was here with me and how much I miss him ..he feels that it is his fault that we are not together. I felt that way when I went away to school. We have talked about getting engaged but we (he) came to the conclusion that that would not be the best thing right now. And to an extent I agree. He doesnt want to talk about the future...I guess because he knows what is gonna happen. I have no idea what to expect. I dont think that he is really as devoted to me as he says because he would have been doing everything in his power to be with me. Like trying harder to get into my school. Is that opinion...conclusion rediculous.? I guess in a sense ...later on it may be his fault...but am I in the wrong for expressing myself. To be honest...I just want to know if he is committed as he says that he is...but his actions dont seem like it. Should I stop telling him how I feel because it bothers him...or should I continue what I am doing...I dont know what to do. We both say that we wouldnt mind being engaged but...it is not the smart thing...in a sense we...he is worried about what people would say...personally I dont care. Do you think that it would be a good sign of committment if he were to ask me to marry him regardeless as to what happens...because if our relationship continues to be at the level that it is and he moves further away...I dont think that I could deal with it emotionally...I would have to break up with him...I dont want to be in a relationship that doesnt know where it is going...Let me know what you think...Thanks
  21. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we are both in college however we go to different schools. We live about an hour ...hour and a half away from each other and we have jobs and stuff so we can only really see each other on the weekends. I am at a university and he is at a junior college. He was supposed to transfer this year but things prevented that...he will be transfering in the fall. The thing is that there is a big possibility that he wont be going to a school near me. He and I have had this long distance relationship since we have been together. I dont know how much longer I can hold out especially knowing that there is a bigger chance of him going to a university farther away than he is to me now. If he did end up going to a school near by we discussed getting an apartment together....but he doesnt sound to thrilled about it. NOt that he doesnt want to ....but at the sametime not like he does. Any time that I bring up how I wish that he was here with me and how much I miss him ..he feels that it is his fault that we are not together. I felt that way when I went away to school. We have talked about getting engaged but we (he) came to the conclusion that that would not be the best thing right now. And to an extent I agree. He doesnt want to talk about the future...I guess because he knows what is gonna happen. I have no idea what to expect. I dont think that he is really as devoted to me as he says because he would have been doing everything in his power to be with me. Like trying harder to get into my school. Is that opinion...conclusion rediculous.? I guess in a sense ...later on it may be his fault...but am I in the wrong for expressing myself. To be honest...I just want to know if he is committed as he says that he is...but his actions dont seem like it. Should I stop telling him how I feel because it bothers him...or should I continue what I am doing...I dont know what to do. We both say that we wouldnt mind being engaged but...it is not the smart thing...in a sense we...he is worried about what people would say...personally I dont care. Do you think that it would be a good sign of committment if he were to ask me to marry him regardeless as to what happens...because if our relationship continues to be at the level that it is and he moves further away...I dont think that I could deal with it emotionally...I would have to break up with him...I dont want to be in a relationship that doesnt know where it is going...Let me know what you think...Thanks
  22. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. We are both in college and we will graduate in 2 years. We both have decided that we would wait to get engaged until after we graduate. We both want our relationship to go further however, we both know that engagment is not the best step right now. However, by the time we do we would have been going out for 5 years. That seems like a long time. Its not like we have been on and off. We have been solely committed to each other for that past 3 and a half years. What should we do. Should we do what we truly want or wait....
  23. Being a girl...most females do like new faces because it is something different. Not saying that they are honestly attracted to you, but I have liked a guy just because he was new. Maybe one girl truly does like you and other girls found out and now they like you too. High school girls have a tendency to want something that someone else wants. If I were you I would take advantage of the situation. Dont doubt yourself in that you think that these girls may not truly like you. Some like the shy type. I am attracted to that and I have my boyfriend to prove it. Go for the girl that you are interested in and dont be afraid to step up. Take advantage of the situation. Dont be afraid.
  24. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 5 years and we have been together for over three. I am 19 and he is 21 and I know that we are too young to be married. I am in college and so is he. He doesnt want to get ingaged or anything like that but he promises that we will get married. He is my first love and I just want to be with him and know that we will be together forever. Our relationship is at a point where it is not really going anywhere. I dont think that getting married my be the best step but I dont know what else to do. I know that waiting is best but my heart tells me something different. I dont know of any alternatives. He is the love of my life and I would do anything for him. What can I do so that our committment is stronger but not being married.
  25. I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years but now we have come to the point to which we are forcing ourselves to work out our relationship because we always get in fights or some type of problem. I met a really nice guy about a week ago that I think is really cute. I wouldn't date him but I really like his style and personality. I would honestly just like to be his friend. But for some reason...I think that if we became friends that it could possibly lead to more. Since he knows that I have a boyfriend he doesnt seem like he wants to talk to me. Thats ok.. but at the same time I feel guilty when I talk to him or even think about him. Should I push he and I being friends because I would really like that ....or should I just leave it alone. A woman in need. Thanks
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