Being independent in a relationship

[Houston415]

So before I met my bf I was very much independent. I was in the processes of moving i had just started my new job and things were going great for me . Usually when things are on track for me I end up finding someone which is how I found my bf. We have known eachother for 5yrs, tried dating but I blew him off. Now my new job has brought me back to him and now we are together in a relationship for 6 months. But these last 2 months have been really hard. We have adjusted to one another and I'm still wrapped up in him and always wanting to be around him , being needy I've never been like before. I freak out when he doesn't say good night or doesn't wanna hang out. I stopped the gym in hopes to hang out. Long story short I'm whipped and I see that my bf iS getting annoyed with me . He is so patient with me, he is the kinda guy I've been asking for. And now that I have him I'm so wrapped up I'm pushing him away. How do I fix this so that my relationship doesn't end. It has been about 6 Yr since my last relationship. He is very independent and confident a day very liked by others he's just awesome . I was like this and then I became so eager for him. I need help to relax

[Batya33]

Basically, you can control your behavior and tell yourself your behavior is self-absorbed and not about him or caring for him. Caring = giving the person space as needed and knowing your partner and when he needs space. So fake it till you make it -if you "feel" like being clingy, go to the gym instead. Force yourself.

[Houston415]

He is well liked by everyone**

[rosephase]

How long have you been together? Have you ever heard of the term limerence?

 

 

Being in limerence or as non-monogamous folks sometimes call it New Relationship Energy, can cause a lot of insecurity. I'm a super independent person but when I'm falling for someone hard and it's very new I tend to get obsessive and insecure. I'm a bit more used to it now and can brut force myself to chill out. It helps to know that it passes in time. I try to use all that energy to focus on a project or a goal that has nothing to do with this new person. I try to relax and watch the highs and lows of it. I actively try to give myself and my partner space. It's not easy but knowing it's a phase really helps me.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. You are in the infatuation can't-get-enough phase. Just chill and reinstate all the things before you stated dating 6 mos ago. The gym, your friends, interests and start some new hobbies and interests. Keep busy and join some clubs groups take classes etc. Trim back the texting and time together.