resentment and anger in the relationship

[Moomin]

I've been with my significant other for 3 years. We have always had issues mainly caused by my family but recently it's became to much. My parents and I do not always see eye to eye which quite often ends in conflict usually caused by them. I usually try to work through these problems by myself because I know my significant other has a short fuse with them. The short fuse is due to his want/need to protect me. I love this don't get me wrong it's what makes me feel secure in our relationship however his way of dealing with things would not help my relationship/situation with my parents. After a recent blow up i have moved in with relatives while waiting to move in with my boyfriend in august. Despite this my boyfriend is still not happy. He believes my parents are awful people and they should not be part of my life. Last night he told me he would never be okay with my parents being part of my life and that i needed to make a decision. But how do i decide something like that? I'm hoping he will calm down and change his mind but if he doesn't what do I do. I love them both more than anything. And my boyfriend has always had my back even when my parents couldn't. What do i do? I don't want to lose my family but i don't want to lose him.

[Wiseman2]

Red Flag! Do not move in with him. Hes isolating and controlling you. Does he have other traits of an abuser?

 

How you relate to your family, the good bad or ugly is your business, not his. Lose him, not your family, even if he escalated conflicts with them then played "hero".

Last night he told me he would never be okay with my parents being part of my life and that i needed to make a decision.

[annonymous1]

Completely agree with @Wiseman2 !!!! Take it from me, I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship. Every family has flaws and your partner should be trying to help you mend the ties, if not staying off this topic altogether. My bf used all these tactics. He would keep on telling me how everyone did me wrong, my friends and family! And I started believing him and felt that he is the ONLY one who cares about me and understands me. But it's only a step to get you isolated and dependent on them. This way, when they show their true colours (possessive, abusive, manipulative) and they will do it with so much confidence and little remorse because they know you have nowhere else to go. They're so good at manipulating that you won't even realise that you're being abused. You'll always feel it's your fault. Get out of this before it gets to this stage. He's trying to make you think that your family is in the wrong and that he is the only one who gets you.

 

Fortunately my family loves me so much that they still were with me inspite of me being a mean to them on multiple occasions. I have lost contact with all, literally all, my friends. It's really hard to get back with everyone! I'm scheduling meeting as many people as I can to make amends.

[KantSleep]

Not good. They are your parents. While the relationship obviously has issues, it is not his decision to decide if you see them or not. It is a terrible position to put you in.