My Insecure Girlfriend

[EnolWolf]

I just got off the phone with my girl. She told me she was feeling really down all day. From the time she woke up til the time she got home.

She's been thinking about a lot of things. (One of her habits that I can't stand).

 

She says she's feeling that I'm too good to be true and that everytime you have something good, it's just taken away and that's the way life goes.

 

I don't like her saying things like that. I told her not to beat herself up for no reason by thinking about things that, in my book, WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Things like me leaving her or letting her down.

 

She did mention that it would help if I constantly let her know that I do care. I've already planned on going overboard like a previous member suggested.

 

Things are fine and couldn't be better, but her insecurity gets in the way sometimes. I love her so much and she truly is the best thing in my life! She just can't see what I see in her, and that makes me feel bad.

 

Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading.

[MetallicAguy]

I think she doesn't think she's not good enough for you because of this habit. She also might be depressed about family problems or something to make these negative feelings about this habit grow. Well comfort her all you can.

[EnolWolf]

I will. I'm gonna do it to the point she thinks she's perfect in every way.

 

She deserves it.

 

Thanks for replying!

[MetallicAguy]

Yeah no problem man.

[kskm]

First off it's the first sign of depression. A serious mental illness that CAN be corrected. I think that if things get worse you should suggest seeing a psychologist for appropriate anyalysis, and maybe even medication. I have been there before. Go to

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click on that link it will help.

[MetallicAguy]

Well, I have 4 of those Emotional ones. And I have 2 of the physical ones...lol. I don't think I'm depressed I'm actually pretty upbeat.

[kskm]

Some people can be perfectly fine, not at all depressed and have these symptoms, but the people that ARE depressed this will help. Trust me. I use to be deeply depressed wanting other people to make me happy, fact of the matter is only YOU can make YOU happy. And thats what I've learned by seeking professional help. Otherwise I'd still be reliant on my ex to tell me that he loved me like 20 thousand times a day and crying all the time.

[Damselle]

Your girlfriend loves you very very much. I can tell you this because I am a girl who used to act the exact same way and I realised that it was sometimes irratating for my boyfriend but I couldn't stop as much as I wanted to.

 

~If you r willing to invest a little time for her to feel great Trust me it will stop~

First I will try to make u understand why we act like that:

 

In my head(when I used to act very insecure too like ur girlfriend) I was (still am) completely head over heals for my bf. Chances are you are the first guy she has truly fallen in love for which is amazing. But she most probably has been hurt b4 and her insecurity is just a subconscious fear of losing what means the world to her.

 

Every girl has a different way of dealing with things. And this is probably hers as was mine.

 

second I will tell you what we did that helped ME stop and now we are more happy than EVER!!!

 

my boyfriend helped me bring rlationship security to my eyes and I could never have been able to if it wasn't for him.

 

Tell her what you feel when she tells you that she is afraid of losing you. When my boyfriend told me that it hurt him when I said things like that I realised that I had nothing to worry about and I wanted to stop. He told me that loved me and all he wanted to do was make me happy.

 

Insecurity builds up and it takes time to break but very easily done.

this is what we did, we decided that,

 

Instead of me asking "Baby, you're not going to break up with me."

I would say "baby tell me you love being with me"

 

Instead of me saying "Babe, you sure you love me and want to be with me?"

I would say"Baby tell me you love me"

and most of the time I'd be hugging him and it was much more pleasurable. Sometimes I would slip because it had become a habit but he would help me back up and say "baby rephrase that question, you know I love you"

 

it sounds weird but trust me it works. By turning her questions more positive it is less annoying for you and since the questions are said positively she had to think POSITIVE to say them and of course she gets the answer she knows but loves to hear and it is what you like to say ne ways. Yes it will take some time but nothing works like a miracle and trust me this is a good start

 

hope this helps,

-Val

[justsweetgirl]

Sounds like depression to me. If so, no matter how often you compliment her, it will not make a lasting difference. She needs help so she can be okay with herself, then she can move on to being okay in a relationship.

[Royltnxile]

Tynetria,

 

I can relate to your girlfriends insecurities. My g/f of 4 months pushed me away on Valentines Day over the phone. We have had limited contact since and have not seen each other. She also suffers from insecurity, low self esteem...etc....etc. I truly believe that she pushed me away because she couldn't find anything significantly wrong with me, everything had been going very well, no conflicts of any kind, good sex, no smothering...etc. She has a terrible track record with relationships and by her own admission has screwed up every one she has ever been in. At least she blames herself...but I think she has been hurt very badly several times in the past and might very well be thinking that I was too good to be true...just because I treated her well and was so easy to get along with!

 

Just constantly remind her that you care about her, and you should be okay. I wish I would have known all about this emotional damage kind of stuff about 7 weeks ago, then I could have prevented the separation. I nkow I can't fix her, all I can do is occasionally remind her that I'm there for her, and that I care. Hopefully the day comes when she realizes that she is missing out on a good man, but she has to come to me.

[Damselle]

I completely disagree. Her behaviour is not depression.

 

Depression is a mental state of excessive sadness characterized by persistently low mood, loss of pleasure and interest.

 

That's the dictionary's description not mine. And I can tell (from what you've posted) she hasn't lost interest in you, she isn't ALWAYS in a low mood and at a loss of pleasuer 24/7. It's simply called "over-attachement" it's a phaze that passes.

 

You say it yourself "her insecurity just get's in the way SOMETIMES". I've noticed that a couple of people judge a little too hard and say some really ridiculous things on here. Just because someone goes through a rough period are falls in love for the first time and becomes a little too attached doesn't mean they are going through severe depression.

 

Geez Kskm sure am glad I am not dating you. Wow nice to see you would work things out with your significant other before institutionalizing them.

 

A simple word of advice to you not everything in life follows a list from the net.

[EnolWolf]

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate the feedback. She's doing a little better, but this is not going to end anytime soon. I'm going to stick with her as long as it takes. She's so good to me! I won't be going anywhere anytime. She is the only fish in my sea!

 

Thanks again!