Kitty424 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 Ok, this could get long but I really need some help from people who aren't family. I have two children now age 13 and 17 from a previous marriage, and met my current husband about 7 years ago. We met online, dated for a short period of time and then within 5 months he had moved in with us. We lived about 250 miles apart before this, and he had visited and stayed a few times before he moved in. It was quick, I had been by myself for around 5 years with my children, and really wanted some adult company, he treats me like a princess and will do anything for me. I loved him totally and everything initially was good. The relationship between him and my children was ok, it wasn't brilliant and I took it to be a bit difficult for both sides, but he promised to do all sorts with my son build a go cart, go fishing etc. We used to go out at weekends as a family, taking picnics and going for walks. The relationship with my oh and my children never got any better, as they got into their teenage years it got worse, I thought it was partly them being teenagers, they would hole themselves up in their bedrooms, I hardly saw them as I work full time. They would shout hello when I got home, but my oh had cooked them their dinner already, and had our dinner prepared for later. He works for himself as a gardener and often only works from 10 -4 most days. He got home first so he did the cooking, it seemed to work. We decided to get married 2 1/5 years ago, things had been going on ok, I wasn't too keen to get married again after the first one not working, but he had never been married and was keen to do so. I think since then things have slowly got worse. We went on holiday all together 18mths ago, and I realised then spending all day every day with him and my children how bad that relationship was, and how he always told them off for any little thing. Now we never do anything together as a family, I have to choose who I am going to spend time with. He never did any of those things he promised my son. My children have now told me they hate him, and my son has asked if he can go and live with my mother. My oh (now husband), has become more and more lazy, he doesn't do anything at weekends just sits and watch TV, or is quite happy if we go to the pub. The kids started refusing to eat what he cooked, so I do the cooking now when I get home. He sits and watches while I do the housework at the weekends. I pay all the bills, (always have), but now he has started moaning he has no money, yet he turns work away or only works 4 hours during a day. Then sits at home moaning about his aches and pains. I am at the end of my tether, we had a huge row last week, when he said I didn't show him any affection anymore, and i said how could I when I was so fed up with him and his behaviour. Do I really have to choose between him or my kids? That's what it feels like. We have an age gap, is that the problem, I'm 45 he's 53, but he does have a daughter from a previous relationship and he gets on really well with her. Link to comment
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