6 year relationship ended...no cheating involved.

[brad93]

Started dating in our final year of high school. Survived college and work together but then got too comfortable.

 

I may have taken her for granted but I really did love her and she knows that.

 

I made the mistake of chasing her for almost 3 months and we both said hurtful things.

 

I am done chasing her. There was no cheating involved, but during the three months she did say

 

She is with a rich man and i should move on. I feel this is a farce. Any advise?

 

Before breaking up she was confused about whether to be with me or not, but I then ended the

 

relationship over Whatsapp. She did also have "the grass is greener syndrome"

 

I just recieved a promotion at work due to my capabilities. I am hard working with my head in the right

 

place. Priorities are very important to me and I was hoping to get engaged to her soon.

 

Should I let her go or pursue her?

 

We genuinely loved each other so im just wondering if this love has gone or there is a chance.

 

Even during the three months of chasing she softened up to me, but im done chasing as I know this isnt

 

the right way to go about things. Any advise?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? Are you long distance? Why did you dump her via whatsapp? Was there a final argument?

 

It sounds like she wanted more from the relationship than you did and moved on. Was she seeing him while she was "confused"?

she did say She is with a rich man and i should move on. I then ended the relationship over Whatsapp.

[Andrina]

What you want in your late teens could be the opposite of what you want going into your late twenties. It's a time of extreme growth, with the brain coming to maturity at about age 25. Sounds like she outgrew the relationship. You're weren't important enough for her to stay and work on what she wanted in a relationship. If she was speaking to other guys inappropriately before the breakup, this shows her ethics. If she did it once, she'd probably do it again if the relationship became stale.

 

I'd say to cherish your memories and come to grips that that part of your life is over now. I'd go no contact so you can have closure. Be by yourself for a good year and enjoy time with friends and activities. Time will heal, and new adventures await you. From this relationship, I think you've learned not to take your partner for granted. Relationships are like plants. If you ignore them, they will die. Take care.

[brad93]

Thanks Andrina, this is precisely what I was thinking. I feel like breaking up was a good thing for the both of us, but its really hard to except it.

 

Im focusing on my own life now and career. Apart from me taking her for granted, she did want a rich or more established man. She saw my struggles

 

and I saw hers. I was there for her through all her difficult times, but she couldnt be there for me or be understanding. She also NEVER admits to her mistakes.

 

I was no contact will make her miss me. Lets see how it goes, thanks for the advise guys. I really did not want to turn to forums! But hey atleast it has helped,

 

even though it isn't what I was hoping to hear.

[brad93]

I was hoping no contact will make her miss me*

[Wiseman2]

What struggles are there? Unemployment? Debt? Financial problems? Living at home? What was her complaint?

 

Does she work and have her own place?

she did want a rich or more established man. She saw my struggles and I saw hers. I was there for her through all her difficult times, but she couldnt be there for me or be understanding.

[brad93]

Her complaints about me:

 

- Didnt do enough for her, even the small things i did was never appreciated.

- My salary was not the best (neither was hers) so she may have felt that i cant provide financially (with the promotion I now can)

- She felt I was stuck in a high school relationship, I was not. As a man I knew i will have to get engaged soon.

 

Do note that the struggles where life in general, seeking employment after school...hardships at work...she got suspended but I never

 

judged her, I comforted her and told her it will be fine.

 

I hate to say shes a man. Im the only man she ever cared about and genuinely loved. She just feels she is better than me

 

and I am out of her league?

 

Whats confusing is, she says i took her for granted but on the other hand she knows i wanted much more out of the relationship,

 

but at the time financially I couldnt do much. Should she have been understanding? Will she start to think about the little things I

 

did for her? THIS is why i feel there could be a chance, the head says dont contact her, the heart says do it and start off slow.

[brad93]

I hate to say shes is a b$%#

 

Sorry, new to the forum as mentioned previously.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you've outgrown each other and were together way too young for way too long.

 

Continue no contact, not to get her back but to heal, focus more on yourself and to move forward.

[brad93]

Thanks Wiseman, really not what i wanted to hear but a part of me does feel i should let go.