Continuum of grudge

[Salty]

I'd never be in a relationship with someone who dictates who I can and cannot be friends with. If they don't trust me they can jog on. This whole thing stating people can't be friends with their exes is a rule insecure people made and expect everyone to live by it.

[Salty]

I don't understand you OP, you are making your ex gf far far too important.

Your current gf is what matters, this ex gf had her chance with you, it did not work now you need to be respectful to your current gf and ditch the ex. It's not right to your current gf that you are behaving this way.

Many of us have told you the same thing. The ex has gotta go, or it will cause more problems.

 

That's just it, you don't understand. Why do people see the world in black and white? Don't people realize so many problems exist in the world because of that childish selfish flaw? His ex girlfriend had her chance with him as a lover but they are not lovers anymore! Their relationship evolved into friendship. What is wrong with that? Why should his entire existance revolve around his current girlfriend who clearly values her negative and intrusive thoughts over the reality of the situation- that they are simply better off as friends but once they had sex but don't want to anymore . People are so petty in this world, it sickens me.

[SherrySher]

Hey Salty, this isn't a personal thing between you and I..okay? It's a difference in opinions which everyone is allowed to have. I don't have the same perspectives or opinions as you. That does not make me right or wrong, but I do see it differently.

It has nothing to do with pettiness but do you know how high the numbers are for someone to get back involved with an ex if they continue to hang around them? You're kidding yourself if you think it's off the table forever and ever.

 

I personally have seen the same scenario so many times over it's ridiculous..."we're only friends" "we would NEVER BE INVOLVED AGAIN" "I don't care about them in that way"...sigh, and they are in bed again or making out "unexpectedly".

 

I am not speaking of me personally, but many many of my friends and family have had this scenarios play out hundreds of times over.

You used to sleep with this person, that DOES make a difference with them then say someone else who really is purely platonic, you're kidding yourself if you think it doesn't.

MY opinion is born out of life experience and what people say and what seems to be what ends up happening.

You might have different experiences, and that's fine.

But that's what this site is for, different opinions and no one's is less than the other one's.

[Salty]

Hey Salty, this isn't a personal thing between you and I..okay? It's a difference in opinions which everyone is allowed to have. I don't have the same perspectives or opinions as you. That does not make me right or wrong, but I do see it differently.

It has nothing to do with pettiness but do you know how high the numbers are for someone to get back involved with an ex if they continue to hang around them? You're kidding yourself if you think it's off the table forever and ever.

 

I personally have seen the same scenario so many times over it's ridiculous..."we're only friends" "we would NEVER BE INVOLVED AGAIN" "I don't care about them in that way"...sigh, and they are in bed again or making out "unexpectedly".

 

I am not speaking of me personally, but many many of my friends and family have had this scenarios play out hundreds of times over.

You used to sleep with this person, that DOES make a difference with them then say someone else who really is purely platonic, you're kidding yourself if you think it doesn't.

MY opinion is born out of life experience and what people say and what seems to be what ends up happening.

You might have different experiences, and that's fine.

But that's what this site is for, different opinions and no one's is less than the other one's.

 

Yes it happens a lot but most affairs happen with people at work. Should it be expected that people have zero tolerance for work place friendships?

[SherrySher]

Not true. Do you know how many affairs I have heard about in my circle of friends and family alone where the one partner promised up and down that the ex meant nothing and that they were only friends and no feelings left?...so many.

All it takes is the right circumstances, you meet your ex for coffee, they are having a bad day, you comfort them and so on. Ex's are not like other friends, you've been intimate with them. You've seen them naked, you know them in ways the majority of people do not.

Feelings might be gone for a while but they never truly leave, and it only takes the right setting to have them come back again.

Anyhow, as I said, difference in opinion.

I've rarely seen a situation where an ex didn't eventually mess with a relationship.

[Salty]

Not true. Do you know how many affairs I have heard about in my circle of friends and family alone where the one partner promised up and down that the ex meant nothing and that they were only friends and no feelings left?...so many.

All it takes is the right circumstances, you meet your ex for coffee, they are having a bad day, you comfort them and so on. Ex's are not like other friends, you've been intimate with them. You've seen them naked, you know them in ways the majority of people do not.

Feelings might be gone for a while but they never truly leave, and it only takes the right setting to have them come back again.

Anyhow, as I said, difference in opinion.

I've rarely seen a situation where an ex didn't eventually mess with a relationship.

 

So your personal experience is the single reality of this particular situation? What I said isn't true because of the drama in your circle? Hmm. Exes mess with relationships because people are naturally suspicious and jealous.

[Salty]

I know it happens , I've been cheated on and it was my past partners ex but I don't carry baggage to my new relationships. I am also friends with other exes of mine and friends who I have been intimate with but never had a relationship. My fiance is okay with this and I'd never breaks his trust. Some people cheat others do not, it doesn't matter who their friends are.

[SherrySher]

k, thanks...end of discussion for me, I've said everything I wish to on this subject.