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Am i in friend zone or shall i proceed with caution ?


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Went on a date with girl about a month ago...date went well but not over the top spectacular was about 6 hours. Good kino and etc. Lot in common and etc. She flaked on 2nd date so I went ghost for 3cweekd...about 2 weeks ago I randomly texted her to ask her out for drinks. She mentioned that she sae me at bar previous night with another girl. I played it off as its a old friend and etc...last night we went out to movie and hung for a while after. No kiss close but the day before she said she was talking to another guy and went on a few dates but hasnt heard from him in 3 days...I got off topic asap just said "hes prob not interested anymore" and moved topic onto something else.


Did she friend zone me or is she keeping options open? She said I'm a great guy and we have a lot in common. But her bringing up other dude seems like friend zone stuff but my thinking is if she's still willing to go out with me she might still be interested

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It sounds like both of you had more or less had the same lukewarm feelings after the first date. You both had an okay time together, but not a great time. You both went on dates with other people afterward, and only went out with one another again once dates with other people failed.


So ask yourself, are you SURE you feel strongly enough about her to want to try for something??


If so, tell her you'd like to take her on a date. A 'date' tells her very specifically that you are interested in more than friendship. If she says yes, then she sees you as more of a friends as well. If she DOES only see you as a friend, then this will probably push her to say so. OR she'll simply ignore you after this or decline the offer. Any one of the answers will tell you what you need to know.

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If you kissed her you wouldn't be in this predicament. Always go for the kiss at the end of the first date, if you kiss her and she kisses back, voila! But if you get the cheek, then you have your answer and move onto the next one. Its really that simple.


I think a lot of people would disagree with this... big time, and it's very opinionated. And I don't think it would have impacted OP's success with this girl at all. I think a lot of things factor in with kissing on the first date; how well you know the person, how long the date was, how good the date was, what kind of person you are dating, what kind of morals they have, etc. Some people (especially women) are hellbent against not kissing on the first date. Some people aren't. I think a proper kiss should happen on date #2 or #3. I would not count a kiss on the cheek as a negative thing, either (it eventually leads to lips...). On the first date, the most I expect out of someone is a hug and a kiss on the cheek. But that is just me.

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I don't know about being friendzoned. When women are interested in you, they make it pretty clear or you find out that they are wondering what you're thinking through friends, etc.


Kissing on the first date is pretty good sign about 80-90% of the time IMHO and experience. I have had relationships that I did not get a kiss until the second date though....but that was in my 20's.


It sounds like she has multiple options and she's dating other guys. I would put your honest foot forward and ask her out again. If she agrees - great! If she gives you some excuse or claims to be very busy(meaning: low interest level or things are heating up with another guy), then tell her, "Let me know when you're available and let's get together and have some fun!". At that point, the ball is in her court and either you'll hear from her or you won't. Either way, I don't think you should play for second place or aspire to be her "Plan B" guy. That would be weak.


In this situation, I would be dating other women and I would not pin my hopes and dreams on this one. Don't build an emotional fantasy around a relationship with her, which is really easy to do! (I speak from experience). In doing so, you set yourself up for problems (if she chooses to enter a relationship with you) because the next step is "putting her on a pedestal".


Start asking out other women and figure out some good solid date agendas for them. You may meet one that you're not initially "over the moon" about, but you may find that she's everything that your primary target isn't. Sometimes, this is the one that you are really looking for and is more compatible. I had one like this and it ended up being a four-year relationship that almost resulted in marriage.


Good luck with it.

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