DrkHrt Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I think my breakup journey since Jan would look like one of those business projection charts where you see the line going up and down in the short term, but it is still on the rise in the long term. I'm starting to annoy myself because I feel like I should despise my ex at this point- but I don't. I still want him to come banging down my door saying this was all a big mistake (of course that would NEVER happen). And worst still, I would probably just dive into his arms without hesitation. Even if I go to sleep, the one time of day I can have true peace, I don't have peace because 99% of my dreams are of him. So of course, I wake up and there he is. Great start to the day right And you know what's sillier? I still want his approval. The thought that he despises me bothers me because it is not a reflection of how I felt and still feel about him. Don't get me wrong, I am making very slow progress- I've stopped texting him, I am gradually beginning to look forward to the future again, I'm using the little techniques I have learnt and I'm starting to eat properly again (I had no desire to eat and lost a lot of weight). Tbh my posts now are more just daily entries of my headspace. Don't necessarily need 'advice' as such. And given that most of you feel the same, I just feel like it might be helpful both ways to share these things now. Every little helps Link to comment
positiveone Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I felt as if I was reading a post of my own. I'm a guy.. but my 2.5 year relationship ended in January. And I feel as if I can see the little tiny needle head sized light at the end of the tunnel.. but it's still very painful. I stopped communication about 1 month ago completely (after trying once more to reconcile)..I constantly go through scenarios like your describing too, *picking up the phone and seeing a text from her* etc etc.. to be honest I miss the affection and intimacy too. Sucks being without someone who you felt so comfortable with. So I know how you feel. were all here in the fight with you. If you ever wanna message me or whatever to talk here's my email. Skimboarder94@hotmail.com Could use a pen pal to talk to too once in a while, stay strong Link to comment
Liraele Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 You should start a journal in the journals section. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 OP could probably request a mod move it Link to comment
Dahl Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Thank you for the update, DrkHrt! What are you doing / thinking about trying for some good ol' *you* time? It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, but darn it, you've been to the wars and it's about time in my estimation that you get to look forward to something just as an unencumbered reward for all your hard work on you! (if it were me, I'd get a puppy. But that's my answer to everything, to be fair) (I also can't presently get a puppy and may be projecting) Link to comment
DrkHrt Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 Thank you Positiveone, I would be more than happy to message you via email Link to comment
DrkHrt Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 Liraele, I posted in the journals section and got 0 responses! Not sure why, but I prefer to just post in this section now. Considering my posts are breakup related anyway, it feels more appropriate. Link to comment
DrkHrt Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 Hello Dahl. I work in retail (in management) and there are higher positions in other stores that I am going to apply for. That's quite exciting as I have worked in this store since my relationship began and I think that a change of scenery would definitely help! As someone who does art and also writes, I have some projects that I want to start working on. I am planning on hitting the gym and changing my diet (I've done this before, and the results were amazing!) I mean, there's a lot of positive stuff that I plan on and look forward to. Tomorrow I am going out for a meal with a colleague/dear friend who is leaving, which I'm excited about. Then I am working continuously all week which would usually not be appealing but I have actually come to appreciate being at work as it distracts me and it's actually nice to just be around people and talk/laugh. The puppy thing sounds awesome! We have a family cat (who is probably my most loyal companion, ever). I can't have more pets right now as I don't have my own place just yet, but I will certainly be owning a pet or two! I was always more a cat person but I have been converted to dogs too (I fell in love with my exes two dogs). It's still quite hard for me to focus entirely on me, but it's getting a little easier each day, and that can only be a good thing. Link to comment
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