I guess i feel guilty..

[On The Road]

So. I am still thinking about this. A lot. How one of my good friends just tried to kill herself. and she is in the hospital. I am unable to visit her because, well i can't get ahold of her. I tried her cell.... and her regular phone and the next step, if i get that far is to try the hospital. but i don't even know which hospital she is staying in.

 

But i have realized why i feel so guilty about it. Why I'm so angry over the topic. not just because i'm worried about her, thats normal. not how im stressing how i can't get ahold of her, cause thats also normal. but im a hypocrite. or well, some type of one.

 

I went through some tough times last year and had done that sort of thing. you know, the whole slit your wrists and cut yourself type of things. and i finally know what my best friend went through. i never really told her how serious i was about the topic. all she knew was that i had cut my wrist once, when it went a lot farther than that. but i realized how important she is to me. and i didn't want to hurt the one person i would miss if i ever left.

 

but ive changed. i mean, i have God in my life know. of course he was always part of my life. and right now its been tough.

 

i feel guilty that i ever thought those things.

 

i don't know if im really asking for advice right now, but i guess i just felt like writing a little bit.

[jaiva]

I understand how you feel. I had a friend try to kill herself too. If you can't contact her while she's in the hospital when she gets out tell her how much she means to you and tell her about your experiences. Tell her that you are available to try to help her with her probs if she'll let you. If you can contact her in the hospital then tell her then.

 

Hope I helped!

 

Jaiva