penguin Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 This is a bit messy and I don't know how it got to this but here goes: My ex whom I have a child with comes to visit child about once a month... we have not been in a relationship for a while now but have been somewhat friends I guess.... we have both said we still have feelings but neither of us can see how it would work ... so that's fine. What comes next isn't though... He came up for a visit and while here a girl tried ringing and he declined the call, my daughter was asking... he said it's just a friend.... I said oh is it a new gf and he said just friends but it may head that way. I didn't think anything of it or ask as none of my business. Anyway later that evening I became upset about a family issue and ex dives in to comfort me and I calmed down but well we took it too far, stopped short of going all the way. He says he still loves me and always will amongst other sentiments. Ok no problem..... he comes back over a week later and we are talking about something and there he is again with the affection and get carried away but again I stopped it going to far. Now for the bit that makes me feel ill.... after he says his "friend" has text and asked if he has slept with me? I'm like well no you haven't technically and I should have twigged but here I am thinking wow she is full on already. Yes I did eventually get it and asked him sorry are you in a relationship with someone and he wouldn't answer so basically "yes he is". I was beside myself.... he said I'll tell her no and I said that's cheating but I didn't feel like it's my place to say anything so left it. That is until she contacted me a few days later and asked directly and I just told the truth. So this of course has led to her cutting him off .... now He sent the most vile email to me in anger because I admitted it and blind copied her in.... trying make me look at fault to save his butt. ??? I am walking around feeling like I ruined it and it's my fault... I'm so depressed but I just will never be someone that lies to cover for anyone if Im being asked. None of this would of ever happened if he told me the truth up front... I would never touch anyone in a relationship! Am I at fault for admitting it ... I'm torn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 BTW yes I got sucked in and never again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Sorry this is happened. It seems he's got poor boundaries and should know co-parenting does Not includes fwb. Try to stick with co-parenting. Also don't ask and shut down any conversations about your dating lives. ex dives in to comfort me and I calmed down but well we took it too far, stopped short of going all the way. .... after he says his "friend" has text and asked if he has slept with me. asked him sorry are you in a relationship with someone and he wouldn't answer so basically "yes he is". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 Yes your right but "was I wrong to admit it to the gf when she contacted and asked?"... I feel like crap but know I shouldnt.... should I have lied? I just couldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 You know what's the best answer of all in this situation? Silence. It wasn't your place to say anything, no doubt you wanted her to be put somewhat in her place, but now it's gone badly. As for the ex, I hope this is a lesson learnt to not go back to a mess. Being polite to an ex if you co-parent is one thing but no need to be all friendly and cross boundaries. Ex's are ex's for a reason, right? It's very unlikely there can be anything good that comes out of fooling around or allowing yourself to get too close, you're asking for trouble. Also, new light is shed on him, he's a total jerk. Had he not been messing around with two women's feelings, it wouldn't have gotten to be so bad. Hopefully you can steer clear of both of them, and most definitely him. Treat him now as a business associate. Polite, to the point, nothing more. Trust me, it'll save you any further bs like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 No I didn't want to put her in place at all. I don't think you understand.... I was being silent but was then confronted and she knew and just wanted confirmation I guess. I have no beef with her and feel bad for her tbh..... What I don't like is that he is trying to blame me when he knows I didn't know....I actually apologised to her and said if I had known it would not have happened and I abhor I was involved without choice. Anyway your right .... moving forward he is nothing but the other parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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