Should I Be Upfront With Him?

[Anwa6620]

I've posted before about this guy and got some harsh responses so I took that advice and just focused on myself. For those who didn't read this, there was someone I was seeing from a college about 2 hours south. He is on the same football team as my ex boyfriend. He's really nice and I've developed feelings for him but we have already had a few rough patches. He slowly retracted and I asked why, he said my ex boyfriend was telling him about how I'm a huge slu* and wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't want to be involved with this issue. I said okay, I respected that and let him retract. He came up to my college this weekend and wanted to talk but didn't respond to me all day so I let it go. I finally talked to him later on in the night outside of a bar, sober, and he told me he met another girl who was talking crap about me (this girl is psycho and the worst person he could have met on all of the campus). The conversation went super well and I basically told him I don't want to sit here and try and convince him that I'm worth his time, I said we have hung out multiple times and could have had sex but didn't, nothing I have done shows you at all that I'm a slu* . I said I have come to peace with who I am and if he can't see past this trash talking, that's his loss. He said the conversation changed everything for him and we had a really fun night dancing, etc. One thing that set me off was i saw his phone and his ex texted him "why did you call me a bunch". I was upfront and told him I saw her text and he said he is over her and was just confused why she is leaving the state. I just said I didn't want to get involved if he was not over her and he said he is. We have talked a bit since then, he told me he missed me already yesterday. But he hasn't talked about feelings or where this is going at all. Should I just ask him? We have been talking like 5 weeks and hung out 3 times now. He doesn't text me very much still, doesn't call. Is he just playing games with me or do you think I should give him time to come back from the little rut we were in? Thank you for responses!

[Iggy5129]

All this drama and only 5 weeks in? I would try to find someone local who doesn't interact with an ex bf who refers to you as a slu*. It just doesn't seem worth it. 5 weeks in should be honeymoon stage not full blown ex and psycho girl drama.

[Dahl]

I agree with the impression that this chap is a poor fit for you.

 

I don't see anything wrong with your being proactive in talking to him if you do want to pursue this relationship.

 

May I ask why you would want to pursue this relationship?

[Wiseman2]

That's awful. Your exbf seems to be on a smear campaign to be spiteful. If your bf chose to believe him or use that as a reason to back off, I'd say you dodged 2 bullets.

He slowly retracted and I asked why, he said my ex boyfriend was telling him about how I'm a huge slu* and wouldn't leave him alone.