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[buzzbuzzbee]

Hello all, I'm new to this forum, married and 10 weeks pregnant. I feel so alone in this pregnancy. My husband is home after work and doesn't go out much or anything but he is always in the other room playing video games, drinking, etc. It doesn't bother me that he plays games, but it's pretty much all he does in his free time. I've been exhausted and this is my first pregnancy. I experience a new symptom weekly on top of the exhaustion, nausea, food adversions, crazy appetite, etc. It's a significant change for me. I work full time and I used to carry the weight of cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc almost 100% before pregnancy. Now that I'm exhausted, he has barely picked up any slack, he regularly complains how messy the apartment is but doesn't want to clean it. He yells about it sometimes, says he just wants to throw all our stuff away or just burn everything and start over. He never cooks for me even though he's a good cook. It's like he doesn't wanna do anything really. So we've been eating out all the time and spending more money just so we can get by. This is frustrating for me. The way he acts is as its my fault things are out of order. He has no empathy and although he seems excited about the baby and has gone to a couple appointments and has worked a little extra this is really about all the good I can brag about. It gets worse though because he's got a temper, and I am hormonal but he doesn't understand why I get upset or try to comfort me alot of the times he yells at me, says really ugly unforgettable things like "I don't think that child is REALLY mine" Even though it's 100% his and I've never once touched another man in our 4 years together. He flicked me off yesterday in my face, said I'm annoying him even though I was sick and went to the dr and have a sinus infection and he ignored me all night while I threw up and was in a ton of pain... never once checked on me or anything all because I mentioned something he said that upset me. I needed food and he told me he would cook for once but never did so I asked him to please go get me something and he just acted as if he did something great and should be rewarded as he berated me. I was clearly not feeling well and he just didn't care. I felt so alone and so sick I started crying to myself because I hurt so bad and was having the worst day... And he said "I wanna go to our apartment valentine's party and drink the wine and check out the chocolate fountain they have while you stay here because you're sick" normally this would've been ok but here I am feeling on deaths row pregnant and I was just not happy at the fact, including the fact he doesn't even drink wine so it was just really strange. His behavior was just awful. He woke up to me throwing up in the sink because that was the closest I could get to this morning and didn't even say a word. I don't have anyone to really lean on, my mom is kinda unstable, my dad and brother are out of state, and the only girl friend I have is kinda sketchy and never has been pregnant, I don't think she'd understand plus this is all really embarrassing. I wouldn't exactly broadcast this to anyone we know or at my work etc. I'm just ashamed and lonely.. i fear this won't be good when the child comes.

[Wiseman2]

Join those classes for childbirth and exercise groups for pregnant women. Also talk to whatever stable people you have about your husbands drinking and verbal abuse and how adversely that will affect the child. Go to a therapist to learn to cope in general but also to see if leaving an mentally abusive situation may be best for you and your child.

[tattoobunnie]

Let me guess, you're a "World of Warcraft" Widow?

 

I broke up with a guy like that. I tried every single possible thing to get him to stop for six months. Kind, sweet, angry, negotiate, bargain, ignore, threaten...gaming addiction is an actual reason why a lot of people get divorced

 

I didn't marry him though, and instead married a man who co-parents and does chores and we spend lots of time together with the kids. I mean, I would burn his computer. My husband doesn't playing any video games.

 

But if you are okay with him never participating with the kid, and you up all night and working all day, for rest of your life, that's up to you. Either way, do not cook or clean or do his laundry anymore. You do you and the baby. You look out for you and the baby. If you can move out for just a few weeks (even two) with your folks or sister, it will send a huge message that he needs to wake the F-Up!