Confused and don't know what to do (with a baby on the way)

[Lsangle61003]

I apoligize ahead of time if this takes too long but I really don't know what to do. I've been seeing this guy that I have developed serious feelings for going on over a year. Back in December we were separated temporarily because of his job. I had never had a problem with him before but obviously with 3 hours between us, I was a bit unsure of our relationship. Not soon after he left we had a little disagreement that put a minor dent in our relationship.

 

About a month or two ago he was relocated back in the area. Because we are expecting in another 3 months, we began to try and find a way to get things back on track. But only a month ago, I found out (from his own mouth) that this "girlfriend" mess he's always joking about is real. Come to find out he met us around the same time and even while he and I were practically living together he was still seeing her. And all the times that he had ever asked me if I was cheating on him, he had been cheating on me and lied about it when I asked. I was so hurt I told him that I didn't want him calling me anymore. He told me that he couldn't do that because he cares about me too much. Yet at the same time he says he cares about her too and doesn't know how to tell her that he's about to have another child.

 

Although you would think that because of our situation (the baby) things would be different, I know none of his family. He hasn't told anyone except his closest friends that he's about to have a baby. And as much time as he and I spent together, she knows his family and I don't, she doesn't even know about me. He won't meet my parents because he says he's not prepared to answer certain questions that they may have. He knows how important family is to me because mine isn't too strong. And to think, before I found this out, he said that he was thinking of the two of us getting married.

 

I want to give him up because like I said, I have serious feelings for him and I can't stand the pain of being hurt. But he tells me that he wants me in his life and wants to do whatever it is that will make me happy (except he doesn't want to let her go). I suggessted a relationship only based on the baby but he wants more than that. And thats where I don't know what to do because at the same time I want a family for my child but I'm tired of being hurt. What should I do?

[jaiva]

What I would do is try to find out who the other girl is and write her a letter or even call her and ask that you can meet, somewhere public of course. Explain that you don't want to cause any issues with her and that you are just trying to be an adult about the situation and inform her about what your situation (the baby). Tell her about what he says to you about your relationship with him and her relationship him. And ask that she tries to be a respectable adult in the situation too seeing as how he won't.

 

Hope I helped.

 

Jaiva

[Diablo7000]

this is a very hard situation to deal with one of the hardest i've seen on here yet, but maybe you should tell him it's her or me and make him choose one or the other and tell him that if he wants to be with you what makes him think ya'll will have a relationship how can you trust him in a better relationship if he cheated on you in the first place thats not fair to you and it'll haunt you cause you'll think constantly what he's doing and if hes working late it'll make you think... so you really need to reconsider this guy as much as you love him and even though the baby is his it's hard to decide what to do... if you want the baby then you need to keep it don't put it up for adoption or anything but if he's inyour relationship when the baby is about 12 or 13 and he cheats on you again what kinda father will he be?? you really need to find someone you know is the right person for you... do you know if the other g/f has a child of his or not? if not then that'll be a lil better cause if she has 1 from him...that'll just make everything even worse...I hope i helped you.

 

Later.