Why does the dumper suggest being friends after a breakup?

[Onderoo]

I guess my situation is a little different. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for about 15 months. She broke up with me, but we actually made a transition to simply being friends. And best friends at that, as we were during the relationship (even if we weren't perhaps romantically compatible). In the last month, she has found a new boyfriend, about whom she seems extremely serious (already mentioning marriage). I truly think she wants to remain best friends with me as she heads into this new stage in her life. The problem is that I'm not making the transition so well, seeing our friendship changing rather dramatically -- changing naturally from her perspective, but dramatically from mine. I'm still working on what to do. It may be no contact for me, even though I think this would genuinely hurt her. We'll see.

 

You shot yourself in the foot with that setup. Men and women can't be friends. Period!

 

There will always be a level of attraction between you two, either from you or from her. In her case, she has the upper hand due to turning her attention to someone else. It's bound to happen eventually if you decide to stay friends with her. Never do that to yourself.

 

If you want any chance of getting her back, stay cool and don't show any emotional weakness. Agree with the breakup and walk away. If you play your cards right, she will eventually return. That's the only way to have a chance at reconciliation, assuming thats what you want.

 

- Onderoo

[distantearth]

You shot yourself in the foot with that setup. Men and women can't be friends. Period!

 

There will always be a level of attraction between you two, either from you or from her. In her case, she has the upper hand due to turning her attention to someone else. It's bound to happen eventually if you decide to stay friends with her. Never do that to yourself.

 

If you want any chance of getting her back, stay cool and don't show any emotional weakness. Agree with the breakup and walk away. If you play your cards right, she will eventually return. That's the only way to have a chance at reconciliation, assuming thats what you want.

 

- Onderoo

 

The thing is, I don't really want to get back with her romantically, even if I do have some lingering feelings for her. My ideal situation would actually be to be friends with her -- she is genuinely a great and interesting person -- and possibly with her new boyfriend as well. But, emotionally, I'm not there yet, and I recognize that I've got to go NC for a while to get my feelings more stable.

[Rockchick26]

Because we get along better as friends. There is no more disappointments, expectations, arguments, etc. After the bad stuff is taken away, you're left with just a simple love for that person.