Here I go again....

[giggle3474]

I haven't posted in awhile because honestly we have been doing really well. He has seemed to really step up and make me feel happy to be his girlfriend. We have been talking a lot about what both of us want out of this relationship and I've really felt like we have found a common ground.

 

I posted shortly after Valentine's day that I had found some cards from his "ex" girlfriend, Gina. I put my faith in him on that incident (he was saying the cards were old) and we settled it and moved on. She hasn't come up again until now.

 

Basketball season is over and the University's are into recruiting. My boyfriend has been going away to basketball camp almost every weekend for the last month. The particular weekend that I am questioning is one that he told me he would be away at basketball camp. We got into a small quarrel the day before he left and kind of made up but we were both still being kind of stubborn when he left. He left on a Thursday and returned on a Sunday. I tried calling him twice over that weekend but I was unable to get ahold of him. I figured he must still be mad and was acting like a jerk about it. On Sunday I called him from a friends house and he answered the phone but when I talked, he would just say "hello, hello" like he couldn't hear me. I was upset by that because I could hear him fine and I figured he was just being immature.

 

Later in that day, he called me saying he had just gotten back and he missed me so much over the weekend. He wanted to come over and take me out. He picked me up and we went to the mall and wandered around and had some dinner. I asked him about what happened when I had called him earlier and he said he had no reception up there and he couldn't hear anything.

 

That was a few weeks ago...on Friday night, we went out on a date. DInner, movies, etc. We ended up back at his place just hanging out and watching basketball. As I'm standing in his room, I was looking at his wall calander and on the weekend that I was talking about above, someone (not him) had written "Mammoth" with a line through that whole weekend. Mammoth is a ski resort for those who don't know. And at the bottom of the calendar on the 27th, there was that same handwriting and it said "Gina". I happen to know that the 27th was her birthday and I had been keeping my eye open for any fishy behaivior from my man indicating he would be spending the day with her.

 

I asked him about Mammoth and he told me that they were studying climates in his earth science class and that week they were studying mammoth. The problem is, the person who wrote "Gina" on the 27th is the same person who wrote Mammoth on the 3-6th. And I know from finding those 'old' greeting cards of his that the handwriting was Gina's. So I can only conclude that he lied to me about being at basketball camp and he was in Mammoth with her.

 

That was Friday and I was too upset over the weekend to even talk to him. We did talk Friday night after I left and he was willing to listen to my frustration and accusations and he stayed calm just telling me that he loved me and he would do anything to keep me happy. He didnt call Sat or Sun so I don't know what he was up to on Gina's B-day and I didn't call him. He came to visit me at work yesterday and was very affectionete and took me to lunch but I still havent figured out how to approach this subject.

 

It's killing me to think about them away in the mountains in the snow and it's killing me that she had acccess to his room (which is a hang-out spot for company) but still should be sacred to us. I can't stop thinking about it.

 

For the evidence I have, there is also evidence that he's not cheating. I'm not naive, I know it can still be happening no matter how much evidence there is that he's not. He takes 25 units in school which is basically a full schedule x 2, plus basketball, plus time with his son who lives about 45 min away. If he is cheating, I have a feeling he's in 2 realtionships rather that being in a relationship with me and just having a physical relationship on the side like most cheaters do. Why would someone do that? As much crap as I give him about stuff, I can only imagine if there was another person, she would be doing the same. Why would someone want that stress?

 

I don't know, I'm confused and I was so encouraged at how our relationship had been going but I don't want to be played for a fool. I love him and it would be hard to let go but I can't lose myself to him. I am thinking of telling him that I really love him and I don't think there is anything we can't work through and that I can't prove that he's cheating and because of the faith I have in us, I am willing to give him the benefit of a doubt but that the next sign I see, I won't even question it, I will just walk out. Is there anyway he can prove to me there isn't anything going on with them??

[Iceman26]

I have read your previous posts and I dont know what other evidence you need that is guy is a great actor and an obvious cheat. Why you havent acted on it already, I have no idea.

 

What person crosses off a week on their personal calendar they are studying Mammoth? If he was really taking 25 units, AND college basketball, he wouldnt have time for you, his son, or anything else if he hoped to get good grades.

 

He is obviously seeing Gina, you saw the cards and the calendar. Hes not going to admit to it, so why not move on to someone less shady?