Confused need help to understand

[mbenz201]

My husband just throw away the 8 years of marriage that we had.

 

what I can't understand is he got caught cheating and lying to me and what he said what push him to cheat is because I didn't have trust in him. Let me explain what cause me to have trust issues with him in the frist place. Started off acting very distant and began to pull away not showing any kind of love or affection like he made me feel like he wasn't even attracted to me any more. many nights we didnt even sleep in the same bed. I know he was stress out due to work and I always understood that. but why not just tell me you wanted out why go to the extent of not only cheating but having sex with a tranny and it wasn't like I didn't enjoy exploring to do other things sexually I always wanted more then he did. So he gets mad because I found out and was looking through apps site that he was using. So Was I in the wrong in the frist place. what in God's name did I do I was always good to him showered him with love didn't nag or bother him. I have always been a supportive wife.

Yes I gain weight and didn't have much time to take care of me because I was always over worked when he was out of work I held the house hold together. And I still manage to go down in weight. so I don't know what to do I still love him and I really don't want to loss him but for the pass 8 years I have been the only one IN love in this relationship and he was just a bystanders and this is not the frist time he has done something.

[rosephase]

Your husband hasn't thrown away 8 years on you. You've thrown away 8 years on him.

 

Think about your life if you didn't have to support this person who treats you so poorly.

 

You loving him isn't enough to hold a relationship together. Love isn't enough. You have to have mutual respect, trust and dedication. And to be honest it doesn't sound like he has the love covered and he's a long way away form trust and respect.

[Wiseman2]

Who is it you think he's sleeping with?

My husband and I have been married for 8 years now have 2 beautiful children he is 36 and I am 43 he had reach 450 and decided it was time to do the gastric bypass surgeryI ask him is there something going on with the both of them. he was feeling he was mad that she was even here and that I didn’t ask him but at the time she had no place to stay and so I wasn’t given a choice plus it was temporary.

[shiner501]

People fall out of love. I know that sounds simplistic but it is the truth. They can also rediscover that love too. But they have to do so in their own time. No amount of you trying to rationalize this situation either in your own mind or with him in person is going to change this because you cannot apply logic and reason to love.

You need to disappear from his life for a bit. He thinks he controls this situation and the more you contact him during this unhappy, painful time the more you reinforce his feeling of control and the further he will pull away. You need to leave his life and let him come to miss you. In other words you need to go no contact with him. Immediately.