pls tell me

[hatepr]

I am living in a diff. city then my gfs. my gf has a fd (obv a boy) who has become a very very good fd (whom I hated and she knew about that). They talk to each other daily, on the phone, in the school etc and she likes him and everytime we talk she talks about how great is his dressing sense, his way of talking , good looks etc. I had talked to her about this that I just dont like that guy cuz his intentions were not right from the very beginning and she has to stop this, but she explained to me that whatever love we (I and her)have is strong and thus if its true then i shouldnt have a problem whether she talks to anybody etc. Now I am really confused as everytime I have met her(2wice in 20 days and will b going back to my city after 10 days and wont come back till the next yr), she always talks of that guy and how good he is and what they did etc..

what am i supposed to do now?? I sometimes feel she is attracted to him, but then feel that it cud b normal fdship also. also if she had liked him she cud have ditched me way back long and i cud never have come to know.

pls tell me how am i to deal with that, what should i worry about, what should i tell to myself, how to be in front of her etc... pls pls pls.

pls reply alot.

[hatepr]

pls reply. i m becoming very desperate.

[DN]

If she is not respecting your feelings by continuing to talk about this guy in such glowing terms then I should have grave doubts about continuing the relationship. What is her motive for doing that when she knows it upsets you. If it causes you distress and she will not stop then she is not worth the stress and bad feelings. Talk to her one more time and if she won't stop then walk away.

[MetallicAguy]

She's just playing with your head because she's an evil girl like that lol. I suggest you just give up. She's just trying to make you jealous by telling you all this **** you could care less about.

[hatepr]

i dont know, she has also asked me whether she talks alot bout that guy-- i said no cuz when i was furious 2 months ago she hid many things about him and her.

[MetallicAguy]

Well that doesn't mean anything. That means she was unsure of exposing the relationship a lot in the beginning. Nothing affecting whether she likes you or not.

[MetallicAguy]

She's not interested. Pretty obvious since she's throwing out hints that she's already taken. She knows your motive. If you like her that much wait a week or so after she breaks up with him, then make your move.

[MetallicAguy]

Most of the time the gut feeling you have is correct.

[hatepr]

also i have confronted her 3 times bout this matter.. .she says that ( as i am living in another city for my education entrance examination preparation ) i should b more focussing on that and let we live our lives to the fullest etc

[MetallicAguy]

Well I think she's a *****. She's not very loyal and very high-maintenance to basically cheat on you like that. I guarantee she probably did something (kissing at the minimum) with this guy. So if you don't do something about it when you visit her then say goodbye to your gf.

[hatepr]

how do i go and talk to her about this--- i mean we have been together for a year and a half... i moved away only because of us ( to get a better education ) and it was our decision.

[hatepr]

she keeps on saying that she and her new fd have a very macho relationship of a fd -- like when they talk this boy tells i am watching some adult channel etc and then she says change that stupid, idiot etc stuff .. she told this to me .. they have a lot of exchanging stuffs -- i think she trusts him more than she trusts me.

[DN]

If I were you I would end it with her. She seems more into him than you, at least as a friend, and that is not at all healthy in a relationship. Find someone who wants you as a friend as well as a boyfriend.

[hatepr]

how to tease her and gain her attention if thats whats gonna make our relationship interesting when i am 400 miles away?? how cud i possibly tease her???

[MetallicAguy]

Say this Look if the relationship is boring you and you miss me, actually tell me about it. If you like this guy better than me, and you tell me about all this stuff I could care less about, then tell me what I need to improve on. So I'm out here at [education your at; school] and you think it's ok since I'm away for you to go out and cheat on me? What lying skank does that? You know, the truth actually would be better to here than to keep it away and make things worse for me to find out later and leave me heartbroken....*****." lol. Some good acting I did there. Well, say that if you want to break up with her. If not, leave out the skank and the ***** part, just the swear itself the stuff before it was good. Oh yeah and if you already aren't sound pissed off when your telling her this. Because she deserves to be punished. It's not acceptable to cheat while your out of town; it's not ok.

[MetallicAguy]

Well you can't it's an "in person" thing. So yeah until you get back there; your screwed either way.

[hatepr]

thats what is the thing. she (my gf) says that she and the guy are having a very good feeling of fdship as he told everything about his gf (current) which he has broken up with (yesterday) and is still ok and is watching ftv etc stuff and telling to her on the phone-- i m watching this - wanna see etc stuff.

[MetallicAguy]

She's cheating no doubt. Break up, why analyze it 1. She's a *****. 2. The guy is cheating too so their both losers. Let them be losers and then they'll regret that they lost everything that they had. I don't give these people the time of day, neither should you. It'll take a lot of load off if you break up while your out there. You won't have to stress in school about what's happening between her and that guy.

[hatepr]

i just love that girl. i have been away for 1yr 3 months and we were together (in person together) for only 2 months. she was a nice girl till i had known her back then -- but my fds say that her characted has sort of changed and she will stop anywhre to talk to any guy.

[MetallicAguy]

Hahaha, to talk to ANY guy, wow REALLY can't control hormones there. Well she's just a *****. Talking to any guy lol. Well let her be. Well if she's talking to ANY guy she's probably searching because your not there. Well whatever if you still like her, go for it. But I'm not promising that the possibility of you getting your heart stomped on by her isn't going to happen.

[hatepr]

should i tell to her all about this on the phone or inperson

[hatepr]

i dont want to break up with her -- i dont know why but i dont want to go thru the pain and that too for such a great girl ( which i knew last year ).