Heartbroken after being used as a rebound.

[ThatwasThen]

I don't know if I am being irrational, but I don't want to be in a relationship like this anymore where I can't sleep wondering if I can trust him.

Then leave him be to live his life with the guy he's chosen to.

 

What you believe and don't believe will make him happy is irrelevant. If you call contacting him to see him again taking a step back then we will never see eye to eye on your situation so I'll leave you to it.

 

I will be so bold as to suggest that "you wanting to be there for him" is self-serving and its for your benefit and not his. He is with someone who he chose to return to. That should be enough for anyone with a good love of self to back off in the real sense and heal so that you can find someone for yourself.

 

I wish you well and with the strength to leave him to his life.

[Alex4444]

Then leave him be to live his life with the guy he's chosen to.

 

What you believe and don't believe will make him happy is irrelevant. If you call contacting him to see him again taking a step back then we will never see eye to eye on your situation so I'll leave you to it.

 

I will be so bold as to suggest that "you wanting to be there for him" is self-serving and its for your benefit and not his. He is with someone who he chose to return to. That should be enough for anyone with a good love of self to back off in the real sense and heal so that you can find someone for yourself.

 

I wish you well and with the strength to leave him to his life.

 

I am deciding whether to leave him or not. That's shat the meeting's for. He's told me he's very unsure of it all, told me we're "taking a break" and his reaction after I texted him seems unusual for someone who doesn't want me in their life. He literally asked me to be friends and not to leave him when we were breaking up, it's not that I'm doing it just because I want. "Taking a step back" was about leaving him alone when I'm sure that he's happy with his bf.

 

I do think about myself too as I was really happy with him and I think that's obvious that I want to feel this way again, but in the first place I can't forget all the things he said about how bad and depressed that other guy made him feel before he met me with his dishonesty, cheating and how it generally didn't work and how trapped he felt. He claimes I am what he's been dreaming of and the only reason he's left me is that he couldn't stand thinking about the other guy while seeing me so devoted and in love. He thought it would be better to give his ex another chance than to hurt me by not loving me enough. I'm not ready to let him go yet, I need time for that. Right now I want to know what is going on and what I can expect. If he tells me he's sure of his choice and wants me just as a friend I'll let go.

 

It's definitely not a typical "he left me for ex" situation, please try to understand that.

[boltnrun]

He already left you. Isn't he with the other guy?

 

I'm afraid all you'll be setting yourself up for is being his guy on the side.

[Alex4444]

He already left you. Isn't he with the other guy?

 

I'm afraid all you'll be setting yourself up for is being his guy on the side.

 

Yes, he left me and he's with the other guy now.

I'm not a side guy and I'll never be. At this point I want to see if he's happy with the choice of leaving me and going back to his ex, that's why I'm meeting him.

If we had sex it would be a disaster for both of us, he would feel bad for cheating on his current bf and I would feel bad I can't have him. It's not going to happen.

 

If I see him doing well and being happier than he was with me (i don't know if that's possible tbh, we were great together) I'll just be a friend and try to move on.

If he's the one for me we'll eventually get back together. I don't want to completely loose contact or end it with a big fight, there's no need for that.

[Alex4444]

Allright, so I'm meeting him tomorrow

I'm doing good, I feel okay on my own almost all the time. It's just those moments that I think about our plans and some memories that haunt me sometimes that make me really sad it's over.

I pretty much understood that he was just not able to love me in the right way. I was never his priority as he wasn't ready to let go of his ex bf. I did love him and I still do but now I see it just couldn't work.

 

I know most of you were against me meeting him but I'd still like to ask for some advice about what to ask him or talk about, how to act etc. ?

I'm planning to by myself, tell him basically just what I wrote in this post and ask some questions about what did he exactly feel for me and what he feels now, how he's doint etc.