My mom got involved and ruined everything with my ex

[Sarahjb]

My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. We were in constant cummication afterwards up until 3 weeks ago when I went full no contact. The reason for the break up was lack of cummication. For the whole time we were together we never had one fight. He was always so happy and positive and that's great it really is but when someone is so happy all the time and never shows you another side to them or never has a bad day or gets angry it almost seems a little insincere. He also trys really hard to be the nice guy. He's a people pleaser. He goes out of his way to help people all the time. When we had only went on a few dates he wanted to meet my parents and make a great impression bought flowers for my mom had long talks about football with my dad. They loved him. He said "I want them to know that I'm going to take care of you and it matters what they think because I'm going to be the last guy you ever introduce to your family" family is really important to him.

 

It came as a total shock when he broke up with me because there was never any signs of anything being wrong. These things that were bothering him were only small issues that could've easily been addressed if he had of cummicated them but he couldn't because he hates any kind of conflict he likes to pretend everything is great all the time. For example I was really busy so I wasnt giving him enough attention. Small things like that. If he had of told me how he felt I would've fixed it but instead he let resentment build up inside of him. We had no trust issues or major problems which is the annoying thing about this we were actually really good together.

 

 

 

He seemed very unsure about his decession to break up saying how he thinks he will definitely regret it and he dosnt know if he's doing the right thing even his friends and family told him that it was a huge mistake. Before someone says it there isn't anyone else and I know that for a fact.

 

 

After the break up he kept messaging me all the time saying how he misses me and still felt unsure ect so I decided to meet up with him and let him know that if he wasn't going to work things out with me I was going to go no contact forever. He cried and was very emotionally saying he can't imagine his life without me and agreed to work things out. We had a great time together then and ended up sleeping together. The next day I was texting him and he seemed off so I asked him what's wrong he said he was afraid of hurting me again and wasn't sure. I was so upset I told him to never speak to me again. I fell apart crying in front of my mom and she stupidly texted him (i didn't ask her to I was very annoyed that she did this trust me) . She dosnt usually get involved in my buissiness she was just really mad she basically said what a horrible thing he had done and called him some names. She regretted it straight away and was sorry.

 

He told me he had been thinking about it all day and wanted to come and tell me he was sorry and to work on things until he seen that message from my mom. Family is so important to him he said he dosnt wanna be hated and he hated that he was seen as the Jerk because he cares so much about being the nice guy.

 

Even after that day he kept in contact saying he can't leave me alone and he's still thinking about getting back together. Tree weeks ago I told him he had tof make a decision. He said he couldn't get back with me because he couldn't face my family ever again because they think he is an a** and he wants to get along with them. He also hates conflict so I know this would be a huge issue for him. I told him to never speak to me again that was 3 weeks ago he messaged me a few days later asking me was I okay then last week bringing up some kind of inside joke we had. I ignored both messages. I can't help but feel like we would've worked it out if it wasn't for my mom and it's driving me crazy and I know he isn't making an excuse because I know how important things like that are to him. I just really feel like he is the one and I hate being in no contact I dont want to get over him I want him back. What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

The relationship sounds like it had it's own troubles brewing but agree that text didn't help. However maybe someone or something had to bring it to a head because it wasn't working anyway.

[Blue Ridge]

For the time being, No Contact is going to be your best bet. Give him time to think about things, contacting him is only going to push him away more. This may well be over, no matter what you do, so learn from it either way. Don't tell your friends or family every detail of what is going on in your dating life. Barring abuse or something you might need their help with, your love life is none of their business. Should you guys decide to work it out again, think about how inconsistent you are being:

I told him to never speak to me again that was 3 weeks ago

I want him back. What should I do?

Either you didn't mean that and need to work on not saying things you don't mean, or you did mean it and are just going through the normal stages of a breakup. Time without contact is the best way to figure that out.

[Sarahjb]

I told him to not speak to me again because I'm sick of him telling me he misses me/wants me back and is not acting on it because it's getting my hopes up all the time I do want him back though these 3 months have been the most miserable 3 months ever and I can't stop thinking about him. Like I said there was no huge problem in our relationship. He even said that he messed up a good thing out of immaturity. What's stopping me from moving on is that deep down I know he dosnt want this either. He agreed to never speak to me again but has messaged me twice after that and says he can't stay away from me.