Questions

[Hannibal]

Well its been a long time since I've posted on these forums and let me say its good to be back.

 

Now I've moved off to University and things have gotten very odd with me.

I've really started to question my sexuality. Before my ex and I broke up almost a year ago I was so sure that I was straight. Now I find myself looking at guys and such. I do still look at girls quite often but when ever I look and see something I like I start to feel hurt from the last girl.

I know that I am attracted to some guys but I can't really see myself doing anything with another guy.

 

One of my best friends is gay and I have felt the urge (on many occasions) to just flat out tell him I'm bi. I stop myself all the time though because I don't even know what the hell I am.

 

What does everyone think?

Advice (maybe from someone who went through the same thing)?

[mgirl]

I think everybody who thinks they're gay thinks they're bi-sexual at some stage. I think the basic rule is if you've been attracted to women before, on an emotional level, you could be a lesbian or bi-sexual. We can all look at members of the same or opposite sex and appreciate how they look and say they are "attractive" (heck, i do!), but the real attraction comes from a desire to be with somebody of the same sex and it is a compelling!

 

Also, i think that sexuality can lie dormant for a while. For example, you can go out with guys, but simulateously be attracted to women, or you may have felt attracted to women, decided to date guys, and then found you were attracted to women again.

 

Either way, i think the signs that you are gay or bi-sexual are that you have a history of being attracted to women and that that attraction is more than just thinking they're "attractive".

 

I hope this makes sense!

[Cadence308]

LOL mgirl, it was a guy that posted not a woman!

 

Other than that, I agree with mgirl.

 

We can all look at members of the same or opposite sex and appreciate how they look and say they are "attractive" (heck, i do!), but the real attraction comes from a desire to be with somebody of the same sex and it is a compelling!

 

I have been thinking of a way to describe attraction and sexuality and you really hit it on the mark about real attraction coming from a desire to be with somebody of the same sex, mgirl.

 

I think there are many things that define who and what we want in a relationship. You said that sexually you cannot see yourself with someone of the same sex. Sexuality is just a form of expressing ourselves to someone we love, in my opinion. There are many levels of intimacy besides sexuality. There's intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and maybe some others. If you just appreciate the way others of your gender look that doesn't make you gay or bi. I think the key is when you are attracted to someone of your gender on multiple levels and can see yourself with them sexually, etc. that's when true desire comes into play.