Dreading the "breakup" talk

[lookingforclosure5]

I have recently started dating after a pretty big break up. I have been out with a few guys and they just haven't been what I am looking for right now. However, I do have a question.... is a break-up really necessary after just one or two dates? I don't think it is, but is it mean to leave the guys to just take a hint. Obviously it would be easier to just not accept further dates and not return the phone calls, is this just the easy way out? In your opinion what is the best way to call it off after a date or two? Thanks for your help.

[DN]

Not returning phone calls is not kind. If he calls for another date just decline politely. If he asks why just say that he is a nice guy but not really your type and leave it at that.

[greenowl88]

I totally agree with the above!!!

[passions1]

I agree with returing the phone call. But there is no need to say that he is a "nice guy" b/c then that will just support the nice guy theory that they finish last in our society which is not essentially true. Then those guys will want to become jerks or feel that they must change to have better chances with the females. Just say thank you for the offer for the next date, but that you don't think that you're compatible with him regardless.

[lookingforclosure5]

well, I did just what you said. I was honest and straight forward. Thank you for the offer, but I don't think we are very compatible.... then the complete unexpected happened. I was completely berated over the phone.... he said awful things to me, we only went out twice... he yelled and said very mean things. It was completely horrible. What is wrong with people.... I am so upset by this.

[DN]

Just put it down to disappointment - I guess you are attractive and he is mad because he can't have you. You should be flattered in a peculiar sort of way.

 

Be assured that you did the right thing and he showed his true colours - be glad your instincts were right about him.

[sparkey]

Be thankful your gut instinct was right.

 

SOme people are emotionally immature. Atleast it didn't take you a few month to find this out!

 

 

The last time I heard someone tell me that things just didn't feel right, I replied

 

"Well, I wont lie and say I am not disappoitned but I do appreciate your honesty. Take care and good-bye"

 

Dont take waht he said personally, its not a reflection on you, but on him and his immaturity.