...they don't accept him and hurts...

[MyBoyfriendThinksImCute]

I have been dating my boyfriend for four months now. I love him sooo much, i'de give the world for him. He's my best friend. The only thing that doesn't seem to be in my favor is the support of my parents. My parents are off the boat Greeks...my parents want me to marry a Greek boy or (they like to threat that) they will want to have nothing to do with me. It breaks my heart that I have to go through this, and my boyfriend (who is part asian) has been very supportive through this. I suggested for my dad to meet him, but he doesn't want too because he thinks that if he were to meet him, he would come to approving him.

 

I see my future involving my boyfriend....and we dream of our future and talk about it all the time...my parents always get on my case and ask if its a 'serious' relationship and i have to fib and say 'no' because im afraid ill get kicked out of the house or something....its comforting that they care but its also really aggrivating that my parents are so overprotective of me.

Once my dad even threatened to call my boyfriend up and tell him to never call me back and never see me again.

 

Please give me your opinion and tell me what I should do to win my parent's ignorance and get them to finally accept the love of my life...thanks

[MyNinja]

Hello mybfthksimcute (nice name!)

 

Wow, im sorry about your situation. Parents can be so unpredicable at times. Well, if you haven't tried sitting them down and having a serious talk with them regarding the acceptance of your bf then i suggest you get to gathering your feelings about it and explain the whole matter!

 

I know it's hard dating and having a serious relationship and your own parents don't accept. If they dont accept then the famly relationship with be full of tension and i wouldn't want that for you. Don't give up! It seems as though you parents have set standards of who should marry, but they need to realize that you are your own person and you have the right to marry who you well please to marry, try to get them to understand that without sounding totally disrepectful, even though it may be hard. Sometimes that's the only way to get parents to hear you and take you seriously! Good luck and i hope this was of any help

[DN]

Have you seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"?

[MyBoyfriendThinksImCute]

I own My Big Fat Greek Wedding...watching it did make me feel better like I have hope....but she was in a totally different situation....she was 30 years old and her parents were begging her to get married....im 18 and in the eyes of my parents im still considered their baby....deep down i know that they want the best for me because greek culture goes hand-in-hand with the religion....although my boyfriend told me he wouldnt mind when we had kids to have them go orthodox...and let alone he likes learning greek words from me all the time.

[DN]

Time to stand up to your parents. Don't do it aggressively, or with tears and whining. Just say that you are now old enough to make your own choices about whom you want to see. Thank them for their love and guidance, tell them you respect their beliefs but you have to make your own wayin the wordl. Ask them to respect your decisions and to help you by meeting and being polite to your boyfriend.

 

If you do this in an adult way, it will help them accept the fact that you are making adult decisions about your life.

[Raptor]

im 18 and in the eyes of my parents im still considered their baby

 

O.k. I understand you wanting your parents approval but dont be afraid to use the following. You are 18 and thereforeeee are an adult. I would tell your boyfriend that if your father does call him up to have other ways to get in touch with you. Seriously if I were in your shoes and in love with a girl my parents did not accept I would be trying to get out of the house as soon as possible. Overtime I'm sure they will realize they can not control you but in the meantime stay mutal with them, but try and get out on your own.

[beachieca]

I feel for ya girl...things are somewhat the same situation for me, but i admit that you are in a tougher situation. All i can say, is when and if, you decide to talk to them and confront them, be mature. What i've noticed too, is if you and your man do last a while, maybe you'll parents will be begin to notice that you two are serious and that nothing will keep you from seeing him. Be strong...sometimes parents are headstrong and stubborn because they care about their "little girl so much"...just try to keep that in mind as well and i hope they realize that maybe you want to be with who YOU choose...not them. Good luck

[Kaia]

I own My Big Fat Greek Wedding...watching it did make me feel better like I have hope....but she was in a totally different situation....she was 30 years old and her parents were begging her to get married....

 

How about "Bend it Like Beckham"?

I think the first time i watched them i was crying through both movies (who says they're comedies??) because I was in the same situation. My parents did not approve of my ex, threatened to disown me, but really they were just being overprotective. I think it's much harder for you since you know your parents only act that way because they think it's for your own interest. I really hope your bf realize how hard it is for you.

 

As for kicking you out of the house, I can guarantee that they won't do that. My dad has supposedly disowned me already but eventually we were in talking terms as long as I don't mention anything about my ex.

 

What you need to do is to show them that you growing up doesn't mean they're losing you. There's no "picking either my bf or parents", let them know you can love them all the same and still has room for 1 more person. At the same time, show them how good your bf is. Mention things that shows he will be a good provider. (you might not want to say how he will be a good husband tho just in case your parents get trigger happy with that word... I think to them they associate "serious relationship" to "marriage" anyway and that upsets them.) e.g., mention things like how he is planning to get this degree, going to work in this money-making field, or mention thinks like how he spends money on you but also budget very well, how he treats his parents well and respect elderly, etc.

 

As for him being non-Greek, I don't think that's the real problem. In the end they just want you to be happy.

 

Good luck and be strong!