WHEN DO WE NOW WE ARE OVER AN EX? READY FOR STG. NEW?

[marolua]

I don't know whether mine is a story. I am 24 years old, and have been alone for the past two years. I was very very hurt with my previous two relationships, went through a depression after each break-up. I don't know whether I had been too harsh with myself, but my first boyfriend committed suicide, which made me feel insecure and striving for attachment and those were the reasons my second relationship ended. (I had other relationships but these two seem to the ones that were trying to make me learn something about myself.)

 

Consciously or not I decided to refrain from seeking healing in relationships, and have been looking after myself for a while. I don't know whether I learned anything or something..or not. But I need to know how long it takes one to get ready for a new relationship in my case.

 

Since I don't know if I refrain from meeting new people, or that just the right time has not arrived yet.

 

Sometimes I think that I messed up with my only chance of having a good relationship, and that this was the end, thus the end of any romantic possibility in my life. I feel lonely, smiling in the face, strong and so...but lost and insecure and just expecting something to happen..

 

This is not something to ask of advice, but I will be happy if you could share some thoughts..

[hockeyboy]

just wanted to let you know your not alone. im a guy and 24...my last 2 relationships have left me hurt. but i know ill be okay....how did you become okay after the first one ended? ask yourself that...start there

[Beec]

Well, I think it is probably different for every person and even different for each relationship.

 

The one that took my the longest to get over was my first love, and that was probably a few years. Maybe it took so long because as it was ending I could see it was in large part due to things I had screwed up, and I wanted another chance.

 

The ones that have taken the least, I was over soon after they ended. Days if not weeks.

 

I think that if you tried going on a few dates, and maybe witha few different people, then you would be better able to see how you felt.

[DN]

Re: WHEN DO WE NOW WE ARE OVER AN EX? READY FOR STG. NEW?

 

I think that after 2 years the fact that you ask the question means you are ready.

 

Be careful that because you have been hurt you do not give a new relationship a fair chance. It is easy to take the baggage from past bad experiences and assume that bad things always happen. Learn from the past but do not let it haunt you and poison a good thing.