how to deal with a idiot

[SeaBisquit]

Recently my bf asked me for some space in the relationship, we are still living together. But I'm moving out this weekend. Everything is so confusing, he acts like nothing is even going on. He is more attentive to me now and acts like I'm not even going to be leaving. I don't get it, he the one that asked for the break but now it seems like he's denying everything that going to happen. I'm so confused, he calls me from work more and seems like he cares for me more now then he did before. I really don't understand.

[annie24]

Well - that's a hopeful sign. I think by your giving him space, he is starting to already miss you. It's weird. The Venus and Mars books by John Gray spend a lot of time on this subject. When you back off, he feels less smothered and now feels like he can chase you. I know - I guess it seems silly since you two were living together.

 

But, like I said, it's a good sign. Move out, start hanging out more with your friends. If it's a break, consider going on a few dates with other guys - nothing serious. Just test the waters. Spend less time with your bf - you are on a break after all! If he wants a break, give it to him!!! I think if you go out and have tons of fun, he'll get so jealous and miss you so much, he's going to be begging for you to move back in by next week!

 

Try to make the best of things. I think if you play your cards right, you two will be back together, and stronger than ever. Good luck!

[SeaBisquit]

thankyou for your reply annie, I am hopeful that will make it back together, we have alot of history. Things have just gotten out of control in our lives as far as problems we both share. I will miss him alot and I do hope that thing work out. It's funny I haven't even left yet and I miss him already.

[tanned_production]

That honestly makes perfect sense... both of you probably felt really "closed in" while living together. maybe you just needed to realize how much you do need each other... and that you're together to help each other solve your problems as well as other things.

 

i wish you 2 the best of luck. sounds like things will work out just fine!

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Do you really want to leave and break up...... ? If the answer is "NO" in your heart.....he may be confused you may want to sit down and have a face to face and have a heart to heart before you start packing. People say things they don't mean when things get heated up.

 

 

Talk to him

 

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[DN]

I agree that a talk before you leave to make sure it is really what he wants is a good idea. The downside is that he could be just trying to ease the discomfort about you leaving so that you part on good terms. Hopefully, that is not the case. But you won't know unless you ask.

 

May I also suggest you do not deal with him as if he is an idiot, as the title of your posts seems to suggest you might. He may be confused or conflicted about his feelings, he may be sending unintentional mixed messages, but I doubt he is an idiot. If you tell him he is, or even give the impression that you think he is, it is unlikely to help repair the relationship. If you have done that in the past, it may explain why he had doubts about the relationship to begin with.