Don't understand

[Breakout64]

With my gf of 3.5 years. She was married when we met but told me she was separated. I now look back and realized she had my name in as something different and still had to go home at nights. Her ex followed her to my house where she got a PFA the next day. I since have spoken to him and learned they weren't separated.

When we met it was amazing like God had brought us together. She was everything I ever wanted. She was very needy and possessive. I noticed she would even forget she had children just to spend time at my house. She would let her 15 year old watch the two smaller ones. I caught her talking to someone else about 7 months in then a year in. We made things work she moved in with me. Everything was going great she looked at my kids like her own etc. all I want to do is spend time with my children yet all she wanted to do was be alone. She's 42 I am 38 btw. She was so over bearing out of " love " but now I look back was almost like mothering smothering or control. Her whole world revolved around me. If I said I was going to go fishing it was an issue so I didn't go if I said I was going anywhere was an issue. I got to where I was a shell. She would cry everyday not understanding how I could watch her cry and feel nothing. I would tell her she ruined my life I don't know who I am anymore etc

Was just our anniversary all she wanted was a ring. I didn't do it. Within days this person who was home every night started going out leaving her kids at home with her now 18 year old coming home at 1 am. We sleep in separate rooms at this point. I've caught her in so many lies to the point I think everything is a lie. She will lie about pointless stuff. I use to know every move she made every thought get 200 annoying texts a day. Started getting less and less. She would come home come in bed with me tell me she needed time to see if things would change and I would snap out of my cold state I was in. Sleep with me tell me it's always be me etc. I learned there is someone else which I assumed. She won't admit it. Now just says what did you expect how you treated me. I sit here cry to her realizing I screwed up yet she goes out every night. I gave her a 30 day notice to get out since house etc is in my name. She's making no effort too. She says she's looking for a place but not saving money. She will tell me she's been thinking bout stuff etc almost to try and keep me hanging on. She stopped paying anything two months ago in order to " save "

I now get texts like you need to stop harassing and terrorizing me. Your stalking me. We aren't together don't worry about what I do. Yet I cover up her tattoo of her name a week ago she's devastated then next day back to being cold and distant. She just had a talk with me tonight like do you understand what you have done to me etc it's hard to give you a second chance. At this point I don't want it. Then says please don't file the eviction I have no where to go. I almost feel she is trying to get a pfa on me and get me kicked out of my own house. This is someone who I had such a connection with and her life was us.

I got 20 min of sleep tonight as she was out from 7pm - 5am just came home gave me some stupid excuse.

I fall asleep I dream about her.

I feel bad for how I treated her and feel I drove her to this.

I feel stupid for even caring at this point.

I realize she is a ty mother a Who-e and trying to set me up for some reason Yet it's consuming my life. I could cry at any second.

I don't get why she's not even trying to move out.

She found out my friends wife introduced me to someone she's furious throws it in my face daily.

 

Why do I still care at this point. It's beyond pathetic.

[greta96]

Ok it's time for you to stop crying, man up and get to serious action, because she is going to ruin you completely if you don't.

When you took her from her husband, you did him a huge favor; the problem is, by doing so you took over his problem, and now it's yours to handle. You have 2 options: you either wait for another man to do you the favor you did her husband and take her off your hands (poorest choice you could make), or you wipe away your tears and file that eviction notice today. Not tomorrow, today. Now. She is setting you up for something - I don't know what, but the messages she's been sending you about the stalking and harassing point towards throwing you in jail over some false DV charges.

 

Stop telling yourself you had a connection and all the other BS you are putting in your own head. There was no connection, she was a married woman who used you and will continue to do so until you stop her. You didn't do anything wrong to her, your only fault was being gullible and way too soft. You should have seen the glaring red flags and acted accordingly from the start (she was needy, possessive, a horrible mother, a cheater, etc), instead you made yourself think she was "everything you always wanted". Really, is that it? Time to raise the bar my friend!

 

Get your ass into gear, evict her asap, stop listening to her psychotic accusations and/or pleadings, and look out for yourself. If you don't, I don't see this ending well for you.

[True Story]

I don't know what, but the messages she's been sending you about the stalking and harassing point towards throwing you in jail over some false DV charges.

 

That is what I am thinking. She used to send you about 200 texts per day yet you are the one harassing her? She will keep those texts to show as evidence to the police and she will try to get YOU evicted out of your own home.

 

Get her out of your life ASAP.

[Billie28]

"When we met it was amazing like God had brought us together. She was everything I ever wanted. She was very needy and possessive. I noticed she would even forget she had children just to spend time at my house. She would let her 15 year old watch the two smaller ones"

 

I'm struggling to understand why a woman who is needy , possessive and happy to forget she has children would be amazing and everything you ever wanted?

 

That was the moment you should have ran.

You didn't, but you still can!

I don't know how old your kids are but you certainly should not let this woman have influence over them.

 

She sounds extremely narcissistic.

And might explain how you feel right now.

 

Change the locks on your house and kick her out.

[Wiseman2]

Why haven't you blocked her and gone no contact? It's over it didn't work out. Don't make yourself crazy with this, stop contacting her.

I now get texts like you need to stop harassing and terrorizing me. Your stalking me. We aren't together don't worry about what I do.

[Breakout64]

Thanks guys. I was rambling but the part of her forgetting her children etc isn't the part that I meant I felt we were meant for eachother. At first and up until reciently she was a perfect house wife mother etc. now that she obviously met someone and moved on she's out every night and any second she can get. Yet lives in my house for the next two weeks till 30 days is up. I can't understand why I am not disgusted and full of hate but instead sad over it. I can normally write someone off. She called me this morning like you didn't want me you told me everyday what do you want from me etc.

 

Thanks for responding trying to help. I am not going back to the house for next two weeks and keeping my 7/9 year olds out with me. I feel bad they just want to go home and use to look at her kids like brothers and sisters. But need to do what's best for them.