Dinx89 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Hi, right I'll try cut this down short. Me and my partner have been together 7 years with 2 children. Last year I received some money (£2000) so instead of spending it on crap I put it into my partners saving account for a rainy day. This was in June/July time. Anyway skip to October, Christmas was coming and both children's and my partners birthday so I was asking how much was in the savings account because I had take £100-200 out and wanted to know, when I asked my partner seemed to become edgy and nervous. Literally never thought nothing of it! So for with my partner turning 30 I planned a weekend away and a driving experience totalling almost £1000). When I told my partner we were going away he said well because your birthday I near the time I'll take you shopping when we're away. Great! So we go away have a brilliant weekend. The day before his and my sons birthday I asked again about the account because I was wanting to get my son some extra bits. My partner still behaving shifty, do I said go onto your mobile account and tell me what's in there! After taking way to long I snatched the phone to find there was £800 including the £100 he had just transferred because he'd though t would make a difference. Clearly I was like where the hell has my money gone? Looking at the account and transactions he had clearly gambled the money and also used it to take me shopping for my birthday! Anyway after days of not speaking to him we finally had it out and he said that basically I was easy to manipulate and if I hadn't of checked he would never have told me! Bear in mind we have 2 small children and money isn't exactly flush. I said I wanted the money back my February and for him never to place a bet again, or I would walk. A few months passed and all was fine, kind of. The trust had broken and I found myself checking his phone and bank ststments. One day he says "do you mind if I or a bet on?" My reply was do what you want. Thinking he knew how much damage he had done the last time he wouldn't place a bet surely but he did and again we had it out, my argument being how could he be so stupid to think I would be ok with it when he had almost ruined everything we had previously because of the same reason. So he said ok fine. Euros come around and I get the same question, he gets the same reply. Surely enough he wouldn't again! WRONG! I only found this out because I checked his account again. Bear in mind he still hasn't made no effort to pay me back one single penny! Now it's got me thinking am I just a mug who he's walking all over? How can I trust him? Does he even value our relationship at all? I'm so confused. BTW he doesn't know that I know he's been gambling again. Any help or options will help. I'm truly at a loss. I hope this makes sense. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Why do you put money in a joint/his account? You need to sever finances immediately. Link to comment
Dinx89 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 I didn't have a savings account at the time, didn't have no reason not to trust him at this point. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Well now you do so sever the finances and put your money in your account for you and your son.I didn't have a savings account at the time, didn't have no reason not to trust him at this point. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 BTW he doesn't know that I know he's been gambling again. Oh dear. One of these words is what they call on here a "red flag". Link to comment
Dinx89 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 I have done, he's now gambling his own money. I just don't know whether I should just leave. I fee like he clearly takes no interest in what I say and he's just doing as he pleases. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 And you found this guy where, exactly? Nobheads-r-us? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 This is not a benign "hobby". Thankfully you are not married thus responsible for debt he incurs, however be ready for eviction, utilities being shut off, car repos etc. if you stay with him and enable/feed his habit. Leave immediately...you need a decent roof over your head to care for your child who comes first. He's lied, doesn't care and does this repeatedly behind your back.I have done, he's now gambling his own money. I just don't know whether I should just leave. I fee like he clearly takes no interest in what I say and he's just doing as he pleases. Link to comment
True Story Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 If he had stopped, I would say work this out. but he not only has continued to ask you if he could, but he is now doing it secretly. If he can't discipline himself to stop, it will escalate. Just like he hid how much money was in his savings account, he will hide his financial difficulty. You have the proof that he continues to lie and gamble. You have your heads up. You need to make preparations to leave. Do you live in a house or rent? Who's name is it under? Link to comment
Dinx89 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 The house is mine so he would be leaving, it's just so hard but I think deep down I know what I need to do. thank you x Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Smart lady. do it. you and your child deserve the best lives you can offer and this would just be a constant worry and drain. You can do better than this. The house is mine so he would be leaving, it's just so hard but I think deep down I know what I need to do. thank you x Link to comment
Zaphod Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Don't allow yourself to get sentimental about this one. Save the sentiments for one that deserves them. Link to comment
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