troutboy Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 My partner dumped me a few weeks back after we startrted to scrap quite frequently, esp. over her ex and the amount of contact they had, (we'd broken up about 3 times and got back together over this) she said I was obsessive and we we're just two different people - I agree we are, she is very independent, but I love her to bits and I know she really cares for me too. Anyway we work together, not directly but in the same building, I see her everyday, she is keen for us to be the best of friends, we we're together for over a year and we have this incredible chemistry STILL! We just stare into each others eyes when we see each other, it's like a drug. We went to a party together in the weekend as friends and we both had a great time, I walked her home and we had a nice couple of cuddles and hugs, she kissed me a few times on the neck and then we had a quick kiss on the lips... is this how friends behave? We hugged for ages, it was quite sad. I know we still have something there. I would love to have another chance with this women, but one of the things I can't stand about her is she is often sharp, snappy and moody, but we had such a great time on Saturday night. I have tried N/C but she just comes past my desk all smiling and flirty, or rings me at home after a week. It's hard when I work with her, and she just lives around the corner. I can't but think we still have a glimmer of hope after Saturday night... I've not heard from her since. I get the odd email from her making comments like she'd love to go to the movies with me, dinner etc. "but it's not appropriate" etc. etc Leaving my job is not an option for either of us really, could giving her space work, making her jealous (she is a tad of a jealous person, although she'd never admit it, and she always queries me about talking to other women). When it was good with us, it was really good I thought, I really miss her company, she is into running and runs 6 days a week long distance... I think running has made her into a different person!... Should I continue to be the friendly guy... our chemistry is out of this world. Advice please! Link to comment
passions1 Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 You mention about chemistry, however compatibility of having major similarities of values, principles, beliefs is also necessary for it to survive. Must have both chemistry & compatibility for it to make it through the tough times. However, you mention you 2 are different...you need to ask yourself, what is most important to you, aside from the chemistry department. It sounds like she continues to behave in a way that is stringing you along which is not healthy or fair to you as well! Friends do not behave that way. You can keep in platonic as how you would treat your male friend, not make too much of a fuss out of her. But I would suggest that you not bend over backwards for her or just be there for her out of her convenience. You must look out for yourself as well. Since she was the dumper, its perfectly normal for you to still be crazy for her. However, do remember she did mention that you 2 are different people & is hinting out something that you may see, but she does see at the end. So it's better you not obsess over her & try ways to move on by hanging out with friends, family. Just to keep you busy & self-reflect what you learned from the relationship & what you can offer to another woman later on in the future. Good luck! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Sounds to me like she just wants to slow down and take it easy in the being together department. Seems as if she just wants to act as if you guys are dating without being labeled as being together. Just go with the flow man, give her some breathing room and dont lay importance on "what the status" of your relationship is. If you enjoy being with her, then enjoy it when it happens. Do your best to act as if she is a brand new "love interest". And yes, if she is the jealous type, give her a reason to be. Don't hide any interest in other females, she needs to know she isn't the only fish in the sea. JMO though. Link to comment
tanned_production Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 I think she just wants to spend time with you... be flirty and act like you are together... but without the real commitment. By the sounds of it, you two definitely have chemistry, and theres a possibility for you two to get back together. For now... lay low... just be there for her, but dont initiate the intimacy. I'm sure she'll see what shes missing Link to comment
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