Am I stucked? :(

[tochjejo]

Hey, I've been in relationship for just 1/2 a year, I know it's nothing comparing to most of you. But he broke up with me from one day to another in a "we are so in love and happy together" phase. So I have almost nothing to grab and hold as a "this is what I don't want to live like" triumph. It couth me in a moment I was swimmin in a happiness pool. Although it's been 2,5months since he broke up with me, and I must say I feel better (not crying so much, he and the breakup is not the only thing to think of), it's still not good. And what i'm really afraid is, that I'm somehow stucked. Not able to completely end it up, be 100% okay and happy again. I feel blue, I go to work, can laugh, smile, be okay, talk, I don't think it's a depression. But at the bottom of all this is still some sour or bitter feeling, and it hurts a little constantly. I realise that relationship is really nothing comparing to people's problems (I work with people, I know that), and I should be happy, Im healthy, have family, friends, job, i'm having holidays in few days, but still... it stays there. And I'm terified it won't go away!! I mean mainly it takes half of the time to heal right? it will be in two weeks for me and I'm not sure at all, it will somehow magically happen....

Thanks actually ANY post appreciated, I feel much better when someone tels me i'm not weird and going to be okay.. K.

[Cope]

Hello tochjejo! I am sorry you are going through this!

 

In the world right now there are at least 10 wars going on, not including military conflicts. People are dying from hunger in countries you could not even imagine have a problem. Tragedies happen every day. People have problems every day. Just because a break up isn't as serious as a sick child does not make your problem mean less to you. A high school teacher once told me, it doesn't matter how big your problem is to the rest of the world, it matters how big you feel it is.

 

Assuming your problem is not worthy of any attention or less attention can lead you to not dealing with it. A broken nail is not a huge problem but if you don't solve it, oh can it be annoying. Don't treat your break up as something that doesn't matter. It does. Whatever you feel is justified and just as important as other problems.

 

2.5 months is too soon to feel completely healed. Also, that rule of how long it takes is BS. It will take as long as you need it to take! Don't pressure yourself. This is also a wonderful time to start therapy even if you think you don't need it, it always helps, not only with your grieving process but with issues you may not even know you have.

 

So yeah, you are far from weird, this is textbook after a break up. Let yourself grieve, learn from this experience, learn from your mistakes, take responsibility if you have to. Learn and grow!

[Wiseman2]

Yep, just keep enjoying your plans and friends and family. It was only a 6 month thing. There is no exact time formula, but you should consider dating again and meeting people.

mean mainly it takes half of the time to heal right?