Not even two weeks later and he found someone new

[JoyceVib]

I thought I was doing fine. Didn't check upon him for the last 12 days (since we broke up).

He's ignoring me, living the live like I expected.

 

Now I checked his facebook for the first time, I was just wondering what he was doing (Yes, I know this was a veeeery stupid thing to do, never gonna do this again)

 

SO he's posting a lot of things now, changed his relationship to "single" and he made a looooot of new friends since we broke up.

Seriously, a lot of new friends. And he already had a lot of friends.

 

I'm doing a lot of things with friends as well, but only with like 15 people who are friends I often see. Because of the relationship I don't have a lot of other friends anymore, since I was busy with my closest friends and the relationship. He, on the other hand, made so many friends the last two months (I think he was already done with the relationship by then, he just didn't tell me..).

 

Now, when I looked at his profile, he uploaded a picture with a girl. She is a rock girl, a bit like me, but I'm softer and she looks really cool (motordriving, weird hair cut, natural beauty). She pierced him and also uploaded a picture with him, saying how tough he is and that he's awesome.

 

He uploaded a pic of a pink tree, and tagged her in the comments with: "you!"

 

I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely. So unimportant. So lost.

 

He's having the time of his life, he looks so happy and he's doing whatever he wants to do. Looks like he already met a new girl.. We broke up 12 days ago. And he's really looking for a lot of new friends.

 

And to and this: I'm so jealous. He's meeting so many new awesome people everywhere and I don't even know how to get to that fase of my life again.

 

We still have to deal with the appartement we shared (for over two years of being together)

 

I just can't stop crying. He doesn't care at all. I loved him.

[Wiseman2]

Stop comparing yourself or your life to his via fb. Reach out to your own people, post your own new pics and groom your own fb for yourself. Get out and do things, try your best to reconnect to people before him. Also get on some dating apps and browse to see what's out there. When you're ready start and messaging and meeting guys.

changed his relationship to "single"

[Movingforward3]

Facebook is evil. Get off social media and stop internet stalking exboyfriend. Don't do crazy exgirlfriend. Things that are posted are often not how they really are. You never said, but I assume he is the dumper. They already have digested the breakup over several weeks, so much better prepared to start moving on, as they are down the path!

 

You have to do the hard thing. The thing you don't want to do: let go. You don't have to do it all at once. Gradual. But this will drive you nuts if you don't. Be good to you. Keep busy with friends, family, hobbies, and work! Don't let yourself dwell or have to much time to dwell and mope. It is you time! Do the things you always wanted to do! Live your life! Exercise and eat healthy! Delete contact info and get rid of all triggers: gifts, mementos, pics, etc. redecorate your bedroom. Set yourself up to for success. Breakups suck, but you can make it!

[JoyceVib]

You're right. It was a one time mistake. I know what you mean. I just thought I meant more to him (he cried a lot and said he was done with girls for a long time and that he loved me very much, it made me feel like what we had was special, even tho it wasn't working anymore... But after seeying this. It makes me feel like it was nothing)

[JoyceVib]

Thank you for your reply! I'm not sure if the reply button works because it's not tagging.. Anyhow I'm not going crazy exgirlfriend. I kept my dignity, this was a mistake.. A really big one (didn't expect to see this tho).

 

I know you're right, and I will make it. I just spend so much time healing our relationship while he didn't try at all. But he told me he would never met someone like me again. And that he loved me so much. And he was done with girls for at least 6 months. But now when I see this, his words don't mean a thing at all (he had a really sweet moment when we broke-up, like the first time I met him). I have to let go, but it's harder then it sounds. I loved him so much, still do. How can you go with another girl after one week, being happy as he is, while we had an amazing time together for four years. And he throws it away like it's nothing. And he knows I will hear about this girl.

 

I know you're right. But when you care about someone so deeply, thinking they do as well.. It hurts so badly

[Movingforward3]

I understand, Joyce. That was the way my exgirlfriend was. One day, it is I can't stand to be away from you and the next day is I am done and gone and falling off the face of the earth. Is there a why? None, except the one you decide upon. Does it suck? Absolutely.

It is okay to miss them and still love them. I accept it about mine still after nine months. Nothing wrong with you, you are simply acknowledging how you feel!

 

It is a gradual process of letting go. It took me 6 months to delete a voice mail from my ex. It is okay, as you are ready.

 

It is your perception that matters. If you view this as an end, it will be. If you view as a beginning, it will be. Flip that script. It isn't that you aren't worthy, it is them. They are the ones that failed. They couldn't deal. They bailed when the chips were down. They couldn't handle it.

 

Is it easy? No, just a place to start to heal!

[janut1]

Thank you for your reply! I'm not sure if the reply button works because it's not tagging.. Anyhow I'm not going crazy exgirlfriend. I kept my dignity, this was a mistake.. A really big one (didn't expect to see this tho).

 

I know you're right, and I will make it. I just spend so much time healing our relationship while he didn't try at all. But he told me he would never met someone like me again. And that he loved me so much. And he was done with girls for at least 6 months. But now when I see this, his words don't mean a thing at all (he had a really sweet moment when we broke-up, like the first time I met him). I have to let go, but it's harder then it sounds. I loved him so much, still do. How can you go with another girl after one week, being happy as he is, while we had an amazing time together for four years. And he throws it away like it's nothing. And he knows I will hear about this girl.

 

I know you're right. But when you care about someone so deeply, thinking they do as well.. It hurts so badly

 

I had the same thing happen to me a couple years ago. We were together for 19 months, so not as long as you, but he always told me how much he loved me and was really good to me until the end. We really didn't even break up, it was over text and just done. Unknown to me, he had met another women during the last few weeks of our relationship. I found out on Facebook. I was completely devastated. I text him after I found out and just went off on him. He never responded to me, which made me more mad. I felt so betrayed and lied to. How could he love me so much and find someone so quickly. After a couple of days, I realized that finding out about his new girlfriend was a really good thing. I finally let go and knew there was no going back. And now? I could care less who he is dating or seeing. He actually contacted me twice when he broke up with her and wanted to date me again, but I refused and then he went back to her. He is the type of man who cannot be alone and I am so glad Im not with him any longer.

 

You will eventually get there, but that might take time. Just know that he is moving on and you will do the same too.

[Starseed98]

The same exact thing happened to me too ^^.

 

I got over it, it was tough and hard, but I did. I could care less what my ex does now.

 

It will get easier, just try to focus on making yourself a better you. Friends, new hobbies and when you're ready, new dates.

[Wiseman2]

Don't beat yourself up for peeking at fb. And pay no attention to his parting words. They were just to candy-coat things. If what he said were true he would not have broken up. These words to make himself look better are keeping you on an emotional string. Just tell yourself it was bull so he could walk away looking like Mr. Nice guy.

this was a mistake.

[Matti Jr]

Just block'em so you're not tempted again and so he won't know what's going on in your life.

 

Personally, I'm finding that the NC method has been really good for helping me rewrite my identity. It's easy to forget with long relationships that we each had our own identity when we were single and then that perception changed with a new love.

 

Starseed98 had a really good idea with picking up a new hobby.

[crowleysgirl]

The thing is, you don't even know anything about this girl or what kind of relationship he has with her. Its just some pictures on facebook, and could mean anything. So don't beat yourself up over whatever he may or may not be doing. You don't know and it doesn't matter. Its perfectly natural that you still have feelings right now, but you'll get through it as long you just focus on you and do whatever you need to help yourself heal and move on, and don't look back.