Miss her

[adviceplease2]

Miss my pregnant exgirlfriend. I don't expect us to ever get back together, so this is more of a post just to write it down, get my emotions out in front of me. Yes, I miss her. I saw her Friday at the school her child and my children attend together....and she text yesterday about the doctor saying everything is normal and the baby is fine. So I asked her how she was...because we don't talk much anymore...she said she was tired and hurting but that the baby is healthy so its ok.

 

I've kept track of how many weeks she's along, so yeah, I'd imagine she'd be tired and hurting. We text some, I asked her about names (she doesn't know the gender, I do, had the doctor tell me privately, and my exgirlfriend knows I know). I'd already had a name in mind, but we hadn't discussed it....amazing enough, she'd picked out the same girl first name I had. The middle name she picked out was better than mine....so I guess at least I know the name of my new little girl.

 

She joked that she'd have been mad if I'd babbled about the gender....she knows I wouldn't have...too many little ears attached to little mouths that would have told quickly.

 

I honestly think I just wanted to type out my emotions....I'm reserved...happy I know the name....no expectations of getting back together anymore....she knows I'm a good dad, so I'll always have our new baby girl....her other little girl, who I still miss and love too, wanted me to be her dad....I guess in some way I will be since I'll be around for her entire life now. It'd be nice to have us all as a family, but I know that's not going to happen.

 

Have a good day to all those on ENA.

[gigiselle]

Why was the reason for the break-up?

[adviceplease2]

I've got some posts on here over the months explain what I thought were the reasons. In short though...I think it all boiled down to lack of communication due to her rough first trimester, which was also the exact same time I had to file for supervised visitation against my kids mother...my kids blamed me for not being able to see their mom, acted out some...exgirlfriend and I had talked about seeing each other over vacation that were the same week before Christmas but when the time came she put me off, finally telling me that seeing me and the kids caused her too much anxiety and stress. I didn't know what to do at that point, just pulled back, but I'd let her know I missed her...until it finally blew up...over text no less.

 

So honestly....I really don't know. We're both in the latter half of our 30's, dated for a short time...several months....we were happy with each other until the pregnancy obviously changed things. Would I like to reconcile, sure...I can't say that I wouldn't try.

 

I know I've probably handled things wrong in this situation, but I really don't know anyone that's had anything close to similar that I can talk to.

[gigiselle]

I've got some posts on here over the months explain what I thought were the reasons. In short though...I think it all boiled down to lack of communication due to her rough first trimester, which was also the exact same time I had to file for supervised visitation against my kids mother...my kids blamed me for not being able to see their mom, acted out some...exgirlfriend and I had talked about seeing each other over vacation that were the same week before Christmas but when the time came she put me off, finally telling me that seeing me and the kids caused her too much anxiety and stress. I didn't know what to do at that point, just pulled back, but I'd let her know I missed her...until it finally blew up...over text no less.

 

So honestly....I really don't know. We're both in the latter half of our 30's, dated for a short time...several months....we were happy with each other until the pregnancy obviously changed things. Would I like to reconcile, sure...I can't say that I wouldn't try.

 

I know I've probably handled things wrong in this situation, but I really don't know anyone that's had anything close to similar that I can talk to.

 

Why did you have supervised visitation with the kids? This doesn't happen because a judge thinks the kids are traumatized because you left their mother...separation/divorces happen daily. Hormones from pregnancy don't usually make you not want to see your partner. Something had to happen. The judge had to have some proof that supervision was necessary.

[adviceplease2]

No...I had to show proof that the kids mother should only have supervised. I have custody. Im divorced from their mother.

 

Exgirlfriend...I dont know. Lost on that one. Was told I didnt text first enough....that my kids were too much stress and anxiety...that I wasnt seeing things from her perspective.

 

Thanks for replying

[Movingforward3]

You never know, she might come around after the baby is born. Just keep it low key and be very supportive as she allows. Lots of emotions and hormones going on right now.

[adviceplease2]

Id love for her to change her mind when the baby is born. Id be the happiest man alive. Im going to be tied to her forever with our baby girl....whom I already love