So do I just wait till she contacts me?

[Shane Falco]

I will have no expectations when (if) the catchup happens, none whatsoever. She might give me some BS excuse if I tell her "Let's meet up at 7pm and go (such and such place)". She might even say "I just want to be friends" at that moment. Then I'll be certain 100000% that it won't go anywhere.

 

On the other hand, she could accept - no one here can predict it.

 

I'm literally doing myself no harm whatsoever. I'm ready for whatever response. Either way it goes, I'll be happy in the end.

 

Asking her "why do you want to meet?" When it's me who has asked for it sounds weak, imo.

 

Well, you kind of are weak and it's really weak to worry about how strong you look to a person who dumped you. That's much weaker than you coming correct and asking for clarity. If you are going to go through with this, you have to stop trying to act a certain way to put out a certain front and elicit a certain reaction.

 

Either way, I'm not saying you're being weak to be insulting, because it's understandable. You assumed that her contacting you after a year means something on some grand scale and you excitedly asked for a meetup. That is kind of weak because she threw a bone and you gobbled it up. So you've already been weak, so stop putting up a front and just go with it. If she actually wants you then whether you're "weak" or not won't really matter.

 

Ultimately, where you screwed up is assuming that after a year, the two of you are on the same page when it comes to contact. Just because you said something a year ago doesn't mean she agrees with it 100 percent. It could very easily mean that she figures you're over this and are ready to be friends, especially after you reacted so positively to it. The biggest screwup dumpees (and dumpers to an extent) make is assuming that their ex is on the same page with them. If you were on the same page, you wouldn't have broken up in the first place. Do not assume anything.

 

Anyway, I don't think this is a great idea, but if she does follow up, stop wasting time and beating around the bush and be real.

[Raindrop22]

Cool, let us know how it goes!

 

 

Have fun!

[shiner501]

I'm no relationship expert but you need to be careful here. I would ask her outright is she seeking a reconciliation BEFORE the meet up and if you are too then get that out of the way over the phone and then meet up. If she says no, she isn't seeking reconciliation, I would not go. Think of it, she may (genuinely) like to catch up with you for old times sake. But what if she then drops the bombshell of getting married to her new dude and this is the purpose of the meeting, "to tell you that in person rather than you finding out though the grapevine"? If such news will not be hurtful to you then by all means go. However, I'd be very careful abut this meetup man.

 

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.