Advice on how to approach

[Leonx24]

So I'll keep this as brief as I can. I have a girl who im super attracted to. However I kinda messed things up a little by overly texting her. I suppose Im suppose to be humble. Anyway I noticed she started getting bored with my constant texting and 3 days ago I stopped texting her cold turkey. And today after 3 days she texted me saying "are you mad at me? What did I do?"

 

I'm thinking of replying by saying something brief like "im not mad at you. Im just busy" what do you think of that?

 

Now my question is

 

1. Do you guys think she knows or suspects that im doing this on purpose by playing the "texting game" by being reserved all of a sudden ?

 

2. How do I reply to her appropriately? Inside my heart I want to text her back so badly, but I don't want to seem desperate or needy, now it is slightly possible that she is being somewhat manipulative by saying "are you mad at me, what did I do?"

 

I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this

[Krankor]

1.) It's impossible to say whether she knows or suspects you are playing games with the texts.

 

2.) I think answering "Not at all, just been busy the past few days. What's up?" Would be perfectly fine.

 

Now stop trying to play games with this. If you like this girl and want to text her, text her. Just don't be annoying or overly eager. Have you tried asking her out yet? If you haven't, I think you should do that.

[musicman777]

Now stop trying to play games with this. If you like this girl and want to text her, text her. Just don't be annoying or overly eager. Have you tried asking her out yet? If you haven't, I think you should do that.

 

Yeah, I agree with this 100%. Can't you just text this girl in a "normal" fashioned? And if you are interested, why not just ask her out?

[Leonx24]

I'll explain a few things briefly

 

First off she's in Europe and she just broke up with her ex a month ago. She came on to me as a friend then we ended up being attracted to one another.

 

We both confessed our feelings but a week later she said that she's moving to fast into a new relationship and that she needs to recover from her last relationship.

 

I didn't want to push or rush so I said I can wait and I told her when she's ready to let me know. I also said that I would go to Europe to meet her and stay for a few weeks to get to know her.

 

Now about the texting. I don't mean to play games and she already knows how I feel about her. I messed things up by overly texting her and I left no room for curiosity. Thats why I stopped.

 

 

 

@krankor I replied to her saying "I have just been busy that's all"

 

And her reply was a "thumbs up" emoticon

 

I thank you for your time

[thornz]

Playing games is a bad idea. I would apologise for not being in touch because you have been busy, reassure her you're not mad at her and ask if she has any plans for the weekend.

[Starshine]

I would suggest don't overdo texting and then stop altogether. It may seem as if you have lost interest I mean that is what I would think if a guy texted me and suddenly stopped writing. Keep it moderate I'd say and be straightforward that's all you need

[sarajean]

A good strategy for talking to her is probably to be straightforward when you text. Overthinking what/how/when you text her is a great way to get stressed out and to jump to conclusions about how she is feeling. It is possible to talk to her while not making her feel like she is being rushed into a relationship with you! All you need to do is be honest and make your intentions clear. Don't play games. It is possible though that she's having the same problem that you are, so if she trusts that you're being honest then you can talk a lot and build a great friendship that can become a great romantic relationship in time.

[Wiseman2]

It doesn't have to all or nothing, moderation is the key. So of course stopping abruptly causd this drama. This conflict seems be in yourself and self-control but played out on her unwitting heart. She is not responsible for the text compulsion nor the "cold turkey" response to yourself. It sounds like you are trying mind games on her in a vain attempt to keep her on edge. She will find a guy who texts in a consistent moderate manner and isn't playing hot/cold with her.

I noticed she started getting bored with my constant texting and 3 days ago I stopped texting her cold turkey. And today after 3 days she texted me saying "are you mad at me? What did I do?"

I'm thinking of replying by saying something brief like "im not mad at you. Im just busy" what do you think of that?

1. Do you guys think she knows or suspects that im doing this on purpose by playing the "texting game" by being reserved all of a sudden ?

2. How do I reply to her appropriately? Inside my heart I want to text her back so badly, but I don't want to seem desperate or needy, now it is slightly possible that she is being somewhat manipulative by saying "are you mad at me, what did I do?"