time to be happy/ but feel quite strange

[marolua]

There is this something that I have been expecting to happen, this thing that has been this much meaningful for me for the past two years. More simply I have received an acceptance from an university abroad with scholarship

 

This has been my goal for two years, now that I have achieved it! Shouldn't I be happy? I feel that I have lost contact, I am afraid, but I am happy, I am thinking of 'whole my life' and the things that have brought me to this point.

 

I am thinking of all my ex's, I am constantly thinking was this what I wanted for and as my life? Career is the most important thing, I know and I will go, there is no doubt in myself, but I feel that I lost contact for the past three days-since I had the 'great news!

 

This is partly because I saw that not only depression but also happiness is something that one has to live on her own. I am happy but as you might guess this will change all my life, I have been living with my family in the same house and neigbourhood for many years. I am afraid when I think that I AM ON MY OWN FROM NOW ON>>

 

Is this a situation that one can expect an advice, but I feel that I am not happy or I can not feel my happiness. What's wrong with me?

 

I know people that talk about their smallest accomplishments in such a way that everyone admires them. This is the turning point of my life, but I just can't enjoy it

 

I always thought that that the day I learned that I had an acceptance and than onwards that I would be happy but I was wrong !!!

[dreynolds]

This is change - a big change - and yes, of course - it's scary as hell - it's supposed to be. Thing is - people direct that 'scary' energy in different ways. Some choose to let it drive them - strive for greater things...others may choose to let it bother them, reading this energy as a negative feeling rather than what it is - a great feeling!

 

You're scared - that's normal. But the time ahead is going to AMAZING. Your college years are the best years you will have had so for. Study hard - but play hard as well. There's time for it all - for crying out loud - i'm getting excited for you! lol

 

The real world begins on graduation day (college) - or shortly after....the next few years ahead are the years you'll always look back on. Make of them what you wish - it's in your own control to do so! You know what you want - stop letting the unknown scare you ...and change that scary negative energy into excitement - theres so much you've never experienced before! ENJOY IT!

[arwen]

Hey girl!

 

Maybe this will help:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

 

It's an anticlimax sometimes, when you have what you achieved. I think it might be related to the fact that 1. the process towards this achievement is heavy and, as I experienced, lonely. It's something you do purely for yourself. 2. the process is in fact more important, and by achieving this, this road has ended. Get my point? Now you are on a new road, and you will have to re-establish new goals, now that this goal is 'done'.

 

I felt the same when I was ready to go abroad for a half year internship for my thesis. I had done all preparations, got accepted, etc. Then it was only a matter of waiting, moving my stuff out the apartment and start a temporary life somewhere else. It was harder than I thought. I have been miserable and confused, instead of thrilled. I didn't understand. But I was so happy when I was there, and looking back, going there and spending a longer time from home was the best decision and achievement I ever made.

 

This old boyfriend chain-of-thoughts probably comes up because somewhere inside you know you are on a new starting point in life. For some things you might still need closure. Don't start doubting yourself. Brand new opportunities and people will come on your path, and become a part of your new chapter in life. You just need to finish writing the chapter you were in the past years.

 

My 2 cents, of course you might see it really differently

 

take care,

 

Ilse.