marolua Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 There is this something that I have been expecting to happen, this thing that has been this much meaningful for me for the past two years. More simply I have received an acceptance from an university abroad with scholarship This has been my goal for two years, now that I have achieved it! Shouldn't I be happy? I feel that I have lost contact, I am afraid, but I am happy, I am thinking of 'whole my life' and the things that have brought me to this point. I am thinking of all my ex's, I am constantly thinking was this what I wanted for and as my life? Career is the most important thing, I know and I will go, there is no doubt in myself, but I feel that I lost contact for the past three days-since I had the 'great news! This is partly because I saw that not only depression but also happiness is something that one has to live on her own. I am happy but as you might guess this will change all my life, I have been living with my family in the same house and neigbourhood for many years. I am afraid when I think that I AM ON MY OWN FROM NOW ON>> Is this a situation that one can expect an advice, but I feel that I am not happy or I can not feel my happiness. What's wrong with me? I know people that talk about their smallest accomplishments in such a way that everyone admires them. This is the turning point of my life, but I just can't enjoy it I always thought that that the day I learned that I had an acceptance and than onwards that I would be happy but I was wrong !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreynolds Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 This is change - a big change - and yes, of course - it's scary as hell - it's supposed to be. Thing is - people direct that 'scary' energy in different ways. Some choose to let it drive them - strive for greater things...others may choose to let it bother them, reading this energy as a negative feeling rather than what it is - a great feeling! You're scared - that's normal. But the time ahead is going to AMAZING. Your college years are the best years you will have had so for. Study hard - but play hard as well. There's time for it all - for crying out loud - i'm getting excited for you! lol The real world begins on graduation day (college) - or shortly after....the next few years ahead are the years you'll always look back on. Make of them what you wish - it's in your own control to do so! You know what you want - stop letting the unknown scare you ...and change that scary negative energy into excitement - theres so much you've never experienced before! ENJOY IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hey girl! Maybe this will help: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It's an anticlimax sometimes, when you have what you achieved. I think it might be related to the fact that 1. the process towards this achievement is heavy and, as I experienced, lonely. It's something you do purely for yourself. 2. the process is in fact more important, and by achieving this, this road has ended. Get my point? Now you are on a new road, and you will have to re-establish new goals, now that this goal is 'done'. I felt the same when I was ready to go abroad for a half year internship for my thesis. I had done all preparations, got accepted, etc. Then it was only a matter of waiting, moving my stuff out the apartment and start a temporary life somewhere else. It was harder than I thought. I have been miserable and confused, instead of thrilled. I didn't understand. But I was so happy when I was there, and looking back, going there and spending a longer time from home was the best decision and achievement I ever made. This old boyfriend chain-of-thoughts probably comes up because somewhere inside you know you are on a new starting point in life. For some things you might still need closure. Don't start doubting yourself. Brand new opportunities and people will come on your path, and become a part of your new chapter in life. You just need to finish writing the chapter you were in the past years. My 2 cents, of course you might see it really differently take care, Ilse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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