What do i do?

[10408a]

Hi, I'm a 18 years old (female), and have 'been' with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. About a month ago I broke up with him as I felt there was something not right, but I didn't know what. I felt completely devastated because I have been madly in love with him since I was a lot younger and we were friends. There was nothing wrong with him AT ALL, and I can't fault him.

 

Anyway, only after a couple of days of being without him I realised I literally could not leave it and couldn't cope with not having him there. So he took me back (he says he'd do anything to have me forever) However, now I feel myself spiralling back into doubting us. I really don't want to and I'm not sure if it's just normal thoughts and I'm just focusing on them too much? And letting them get the better of me. I just won't want to burden him with me if he could do better.

 

He's the most loving, trustworthy, loyal, generous person I know and I feel like I'd be throwing something away if I listened to my head, but I can't ignore it.

 

When I think about it, some things that put me off are his family, they're so different from mine in so many ways, so I'm not sure I'd want to introduce our families. I mean, they're so nice to me and even say they love me, but I just can't ignore the different ways of life/norms/values/attitudes.

 

I'm sure there are other deep down reasons aswell but this is already a really long message so don't want to make it even longer.

 

Any help or advice would be massively appreciated. I just need someone to talk to.

 

-thanks

[lam123]

You’re so so young. It’s a shame to get engaged at that early age for the whole life. You’ll lose a lot of experience and probably you’ll want to do later what you are missing to do at the teenager age.

[10408a]

Yes I agree I am very young to be having these issues and it could potentially hold me back, but what kind of things do you mean I will be missing out on? I still feel I am free to do my own thing, go out with my friends etc?

[lam123]

You can feel free to go out with friends and stuff like that. But you’re not free to know other boys in a romantic way, right? The best is to experiment with several guys before you get engaged for life.

Other way you’ll want to do it later when you have children and it’s a mess.

[10408a]

Yeah I guess so, however I still don't really agree that age should be the deciding factor. I've "experimented" before I was with him though.

[lam123]

Well, you’re the one who has to decide. If you feel you already experimented enough and this guy is the one, it’s ok. IMO you can’t get enough at 18. But only you have the answer. Good luck

[Sportster2005]

Nothing deep down or confusing here. When you left you missed him because you don't have him. It's called wanting what you can't have. As soon as he's back you know you can have him, and the cycle repeats.

 

Leave him, and leave him alone.

[hazel125]

You can feel free to go out with friends and stuff like that. But you’re not free to know other boys in a romantic way, right? The best is to experiment with several guys before you get engaged for life.

Other way you’ll want to do it later when you have children and it’s a mess.

 

Sorry but I totally disagree with comment, no disrespect to you. Both my sisters got engaged at a young age, one at 20 and the other at 19. They are both happily still married and are both now 30 years old and have never been with another guy. Saying you need to be with multiple men first? Eh I disagree. Multiple men ain't going to change her real problem. She's going through exactly what most women leave relationships for. I guarantee you if you leave this guy and date other men, she's still going to run into the same problem. She's bored in her relationship and I bet your thinking you can do better. Don't lie to yourself and say there's nothing wrong with him because if that were true, you wouldn't be leaving him. So clearly it's him or your bored and want to go experience the thrill of new men. I don't feel bad for you, I feel bad for the guy your about to breakup with again and leave him heartbroken for the second time.