Should I be bothered by this?

[StarKitten]

Hi everyone. So I've been dating this guy for about a week now, but we had been seeing each other for about a month before he asked me out. Everything has been fine so far, but he has a lot of female friends. I mean A LOT. I know he's tried to hook up with some of them in the past. It didn't work out, but he's still friends with them. I'm not bothered by this because I know a lot of guys who have female friends. However, he seems to hang out with them a lot. I don't mind him hanging out with his friends but it seems a little weird when he sends me Snapchats of him being the only guy at one of the girls' houses when there are about 10 other girls there. He even sent me a picture one time of him laying on a bed with the other girl. That usually seems kind of questionable, but apparently they're just friends.

Today he asked me where I wanted to go at lunch (which we do every day during school, since we're seniors and we can go off campus for lunch). I said I didn't care where we go as usual and I met up with him at the usual spot by my friend's car because my friend drives us every day. My friend was taking a while to meet us because it was final exam day and a lot of students were leaving school because they didn't have 5th periods. Both my friend and my boyfriend don't have 5th periods either, so they could have gone home at lunch today. But he seemed to want to hang out with me at lunch. We were about to leave when my boyfriend saw his female friend, who was going home. He usually had to take the bus to get home, so he asked her for a ride home and he left me alone to go with her instead. I don't really find a problem with this. I mean, I understand him wanting to get a ride home so he didn't have to wait for the bus, but he kind of just left me abruptly without explaining where he was going. I couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed by him, even though I understood why he was leaving. I've just had way too many experiences in the past with people bailing on me at the last minute and I tend to get very sensitive whenever people change their plans on me. Plus, I was very stressed out due to finals that day, so I may have been a little more agitated than usual. Sorry this is so ranty, but I'm just wondering if it's normal for me to feel a little bothered by this or to just not worry about it. FYI: I tried not to lead on that anything was wrong, but he may have gotten that impression because he texted me after school saying he was sorry for leaving me at lunch.

[Escudo]

He left you to ride with another girl, dump him he doesn't care about you, at least not as much as his "friend".

 

As a guy I want to give spending time with my girl priority over any sort of friend. My girl needs company? You bet I'd be there if can, forget some friends.

[ParisPaulette]

And pray tell why didn't he ask his "friend" to give you a ride too?

 

Sorry but manners count, guy or girl, anyone just abruptly leaving me without even an offer of a ride or an "Are you going to be okay?" would be quickly dumped out of my life.

 

Remember, you teach people how they treat you. If you think you have to be fine with this behavior, and his having a harem, then guess what? You just taught him that other people matter more than you do, that his rudeness is totally fine with you, and that you are just part of his harem. And apparently not even as important a part as another girl.

 

I know you are hurt and upset by this and trying hard not to be, but my advice--get mad and dump him. And tell him you don't put up with bad manners and crap if he asks you about it. You can do better than someone who walks away with another girl to get a ride without even the courtesy of asking if you'll be okay or if his friend could give you a ride too. Plus, yeah I have a ton of guy friends. I've never posted pics of us on a bed together or would I, 'cause I don't play at that crap.

 

This guy is a player and you're just one of many added to his harem. You'd be wise to walk away now before this goes further or you are going to be in for a miserable ride. Manners are important, a lack of them says everything you need to know about a person.

 

P.S. He texted you because he knew all along it was wrong. He's just testing the waters now to see if you'll be "Okay" with it and my advice is don't be.

[catfeeder]

he left me alone to go with her instead.

 

He's not BF material. I wouldn't make a drama out of it, because I'll need to see him in class and social circles, but I'd just let him know that this isn't working out for me, and I'd wish him the best.

 

Nobody respects anyone who doesn't respect themselves. A guy doesn't need a to be a villain to be a poor match, but this guy isn't mature enough to even be considerate of a GF. Sticking around for mistreatment will harm your self respect, and that will just make you desperate doormat material. Who wants to go there?

 

I'd walk away with my head high, and I'd let him flounder around and mistreat other people until he learns that selfishness is not attractive. Meanwhile, find someone who deserves you.

 

PS: If he presses you for answers, I'd have no trouble telling him that I'm not comfortable with him after he dumped at the bus stop to take his own ride. I'd be kind about it, but I'd just tell him that I've felt uncomfortable for a while, and that clarified for my why.

[StarKitten]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I have talked to him about it since and I don't think it's going to happen again.