Is there a chance that this is true or is this the HUGE LIE that I think it is?

[thatoneguy555]

Basically long story short, there's a friend and I that had a very intimate relationship.

 

Throughout our friendship, we would constantly get comments from friends.

 

"Are you guys gay?"

"What the **** are you guys doing?"

"Wouldn't (me and him) make the best gay couple?" and he would respond with "OF COURSE they'd say that! Because (I'm) gay! HE'S GAY!!!!"

"ARE YOU GUYS GAY??? SERIOUSLY?"

etc. etc.

 

A few months before coming out to him, I texted him at about 1 am, saying "hey, I have to talk to you about something bad soon. We might be friends anymore"

 

He would bring it up multiple times, and ask me to talk about it, and I'd tell him to drop it.

 

One time he was alone with me and asked me about it again. He said "Are you mad at me?" I said no. He said "Am I mad at you?" and I said "no." And I told him "we're not mad at each other, but it's bad and we might not be friends anymore."

 

And then a month before I came out to him, I texted him at 1 am saying "hey, I don't care how gay this sounds, but I just wanted to say that I love you, you're an amazing friend and an amazing person and I just wanted to say thank you so much for dealing with me, I know I can be difficult" (because I would ignore him a lot and he would try to get my attention back)

 

And he would even constantly ask me "Are you gay?"

 

Another time, he took a Magic 8 Ball and asked it questions such as "Will (I) ever have sex?" "Will (I) ever stop staring at (him)?" "(Am I) gay?"

 

And he would do stuff like take a controller and use it as a lie detector and ask "(my name), are you gay?" and I would hesitate and say "no..." and he said "OHHH it says it's a lie!!!"

 

And then another time he even asked me stuff like "(my name), what would you do if I was gay and in the closet and I came out to you?"

 

And other times, when we were alone, and around random people, he would get uncomfortable and say "do people think we're gay? Yeah... probably..." or stuff like "why are we sitting like this? People are gonna think we're dating"

 

And a few weeks before I came out to him, he outright asked me "(my name), why do you have a crush on me? Like why?"

 

 

And basically, whenever I came out to him (over text, stupidly), he told me that it was a joke, that he had no idea, and that it being gay "never crossed (his) mind at all."

 

Is it possible at all that that's the truth? And I'm just crazy?

[mustlovedogs]

I'm not understanding your question ... Is your question whether or not he is gay?

[HeartGoesOn]

Is it possible at all that that's the truth? And I'm just crazy?

 

TBH, this sounds like Jr High School nonsense. I'm not sure what's in this for you, and why you want to continue to talk to someone who can't even hold an adult conversation? I think you can better than this...

[thatoneguy555]

I'm not understanding your question ... Is your question whether or not he is gay?

 

No, whether or not him having "no idea" and that it "never crossed his mind" was a lie

[mustlovedogs]

Does it matter if it is or isn't? He might just be trying to support you in whatever way he knows how.

[thatoneguy555]

Does it matter if it is or isn't? He might just be trying to support you in whatever way he knows how.

 

I think I wasn't clear, I basically told him I liked him when I came out to him and he was like oh I had no idea and it never crossed my mind, he would say stuff to me like "If I could watch one guy getting head it'd be you" "why do we have so much sexual tension" "I wish I could just be in your arms forever" etc

[leseine7]

But you said that you've been taunting him with "I need to talk to you....it might be bad" but haven't yet HAD the conversation you told him you need to have yet? To me it seems like you have only hinted at liking him, and hinted at being gay, which warrants him trying to get you to open up to him because it's a little obvious, based on how you;re interacting with him.

 

If you want to talk to him about your feelings for him, you need to just be straightforward. Actually tell him (if you're ready) that you are gay, you have feelings for him, etc. Or, tell him you're sorry for confusing things and that you're very confused right now and grateful for his friendship (like you did already say).

 

He probably HAS had some feeling you are feeling certain things, but really doesn't want to pressure you or embarrass you. It's not a HUGE LIE if he does know at heart that you're gay, more like he's really trying to find a way to get you to talk to him (without needing a magic 8 ball).

[AriesMoonlight]

Is he gay/bi? Do you suspect he is? Sounds like he could have been flirting while things were safe and you weren't out, but now that it's no longer a secret he's scared/unwilling to acknowledge the reality in the cold light of day. It's impossible to say whether he was truly interested, or just flirting when he knew/thought nothing would come of it. I suspect he knew, but is now trying to protect himself because he's unsure how to proceed. Is he being supportive?

[thatoneguy555]

But you said that you've been taunting him with "I need to talk to you....it might be bad" but haven't yet HAD the conversation you told him you need to have yet? To me it seems like you have only hinted at liking him, and hinted at being gay, which warrants him trying to get you to open up to him because it's a little obvious, based on how you;re interacting with him.

 

If you want to talk to him about your feelings for him, you need to just be straightforward. Actually tell him (if you're ready) that you are gay, you have feelings for him, etc. Or, tell him you're sorry for confusing things and that you're very confused right now and grateful for his friendship (like you did already say).

 

He probably HAS had some feeling you are feeling certain things, but really doesn't want to pressure you or embarrass you. It's not a HUGE LIE if he does know at heart that you're gay, more like he's really trying to find a way to get you to talk to him (without needing a magic 8 ball).

 

I feel like you didn't read my post thoroughly enough lol. When I came out to him and told him I thought of him as more than a friend he said he had no idea that anything was gay etc.

 

I get that he is uncomfortable but I wish he didn't initiate anything in the first place because I didn't initiate a single thing

[catfeeder]

I texted him at about 1 am, saying "hey, I have to talk to you about something bad soon. We might be friends anymore"

 

He would bring it up multiple times, and ask me to talk about it, and I'd tell him to drop it.

 

This is passive-aggressive stuff. Telling someone that you have something to say and then withholding it is manipulative and nasty. Then laying it on him by text and claiming that it's on him to respond as you wish is just a setup to blame him for not playing to whatever game you had going on in your own head.