Gut instinct... right or wrong?

[phil1981UK]

I have a question... my gut instinct is telling me my gf is upto something, i wont go into details, but i just have this feeling something is going on.

 

Anyway i had this feeling once before and it turned out to be right... my question is in everyone elses experience has your gut instinct turned out to be right or wrong about your partners playing around?

[hockeyboy]

from my personal experiences, my gut instinct is almost always right. dont ignore it.

[daredevil]

The times i've tried it, it was right.

[vhshowdown]

Man, I have a few gut instincts. And they have usually been right. Now, the question is, how do you go about finding out? Snoop, spy, break into emails, etc...???

[Towny]

I will have to agree that if her words or actions don't quite strike you as being "normal" as you perceive your relationship to be, then, yes, there is a good chance that something has changed or is in the process of changing. However, there is a chance that something else is happening in her life, other than somebody else, that could cause a change in behavior. Just keep your eyes and ears open and remember to let her do most of the talking....there are always clues (either said or left unsaid).

 

What exactly is happening anyway? It might help to give a brief example.

[mandyglass]

You're most likely right...I think you should call Cheaters!!!

[mt_joy]

Gut instincts are usually right. Ask her questions about what bothers you. You can tell when someone has changed.

[OceanEyes]

I'm going to have to take the offence here. "Gut instinct" can be influenced by several things. After all, an instinct starts in the brain, and if things aren't "right" there to begin with, then it might throw the "instinct" off a bit. For example, some of these things can cause unnecessary paranoia/ suspicion, but can commonly be mistaken for "gut instinct":

 

* Low self-esteem. Hey, if you never believe that you're good enough to keep someone, why would you trust that they won't pull a fast one?

 

* You've been hurt badly before. You may have your guard up a bit too high, in fear that something similar may happen to you again. Nobody wants their heart broken.

 

* Poor/ weak relationship foundation a.k.a. poor communication.

 

* Being too dependent on your partner for support, self-assurance, self-esteem, and happiness.

 

* Having too much time to yourself to think, and think, and think about something until you are driving yourself crazy. Too much free time, or not enough fun in your own life can make you unhappy. Unhappiness causes frustration and a lack of satisfaction with one's self, which will always lead to insecurities.

 

I do believe in instincts very strongly, but in cases like this, I think instinct can be extremely influenced. I've probably been guilty of everything I've just said above, and there have been several situations that I have found myself suspecting things that had never, and would never happen.

 

Gut instinct will not bring relief to a situation, especially if you think your girlfriend may be messing around on you. I think we both know, that the only way to really know for sure, is to have some solid evidence. Instinct will only alert you that something isn't right, but it doesn't actually prove anything or help you achieve inner peace.

[vhshowdown]

That is a very good post, and I would have to say probably very true. And as I was thinking, those could work on the one you are having an instinct over. Such as if your partner is "Being too dependent on your partner for support, self-assurance, self-esteem, and happiness" that may be a signal that something may happen down the road as well.

[al7]

* Low self-esteem...

 

Definitely a good post. How did you figure that all out?

Are you a full time shrink? Just curious.

[arwen]

I am with OceanEyes. I haven't trusted my guts in years, because they are based on fear. Somehow I cannot distinguish one from the other. Well said Ocean!

 

Ilse.

[mscolly]

While I agree with what Oceaneyes says, that these things can make you more susceptible to "gut instincts", they are all long term conditions. Something has triggered these gut instincts that are telling you something is wrong. You don't just wake up one morning feeling something is wrong, for no reason at all. Take your gut instincts as a cue to find that trigger, but don't do anything reckless based solely on these feelings.