Very good reading

[Luciana]

I am just reading a book that sheds some light on why women cheat. It makes you see that you can't really judge people that much. SOme women have the man they love and the man they desire. Desire is a very normal human expression, and marriage and too much familiarity destroys it.

 

The book is called "Infidelity Undressed", by Diane Shader Smith.

[P-Frenchie]

I really find it amusing when I read posts that take the side of cheaters... to me it makes no more sense to defend someone who would cheat on their significant than to defend someone who would break the rules of a game or disobey the law.

 

If a person is in a committed relationship, there's no excuse for cheating. Obviously these people don't "love" their partner if they are prepared to jeopardize their relationship with them. Furthermore, cheating is a conscious method of causing harm to your partner, and if you truly loved them, why would you want to cause them pain.

 

I understand why people cheat, but it isn't something that can be defended justly. If you loved your partner, cheating would not be an option. The excuses of, "not being fulfilled" in a relationship is a valid one, but still puts the responsibility on you to fix things by talking things through or, if it's that bad, breaking things off.

 

This post may seem like I'm just venting, but this is coming from someone who has never been affected by cheating. I guess I find it shocking that there's a book that justifies why women cheat. What justification could there possibly be? Have the decency to call off your relationship if you need to get sex from an outside source.

[sisterlynch]

That sounds like a very good book.

 

I think that part of growing up is realizing that you can't have everything that you see that looks good, so you might as well love the one that you are with. I think that life affects our hormones and we are not always free to tell others what we are feeling or thinking...so we get locked into role playing which isn't very satisfying to others.

 

We need to be aware of ourself in the world. Look life in the face and don't turn away from the suffering of others.

[FuriousSam]

People cheat because they can and we always want to do things that are forbidden, it's human nature. However, most people would argue that they will not do it because of our social conditioning.

[sisterlynch]

I think that the biggest draw back to cheating would be trying to explain it to others. You marry for better or worse, not until someone cuter or richer comes along.

 

I couldn't look my partner in the face and tell him...that is just it. If I could, then I probably would, but I really don't think that I could ever hurt someone who does nothing but love me and treat me well.

 

I am sure that some people can justify cheating, but I couldn't, so I won't...

[Day_Walker]

It seems to be that the majority of people have either been cheated on or has cheated within the confines of a relationship. It is important to understand why both men and women cheat. Now the reasons could be similiar or they could be different. Once you have understood the reason/s why a person has cheated then you can move on to how you should handle the situation. There are people who there who dont care to know why a person cheated instead it is more important that the cheating took place.

 

I believe that if a person has cheated then some type of judgement has to be made about them. Ultimately this person had a choice of whether to cheat or not and they made a conscious decision to cheat on their significant other. Now some people believe that relationships can get past this and some dont. It is up to the two individuals to decide what happens next. This is where people have a hard time making decisions because they have such strong feelings for the person that cheated that they dont want to let them go but at the same time the cheater needs to be punished for their actions. If this punishment were such that the other party had no incentive to cheat then getting back together would be a plausible solution. However this is rarely the case. The cheater does not get the proper punishment and the cheating can happen again. the Idea is to make a smart decision at the point of resolution.