How can i find out the truth?

[bobo1]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years now, we've been madly in love for the first year and a half or so. However lately I've been having mixed emotions concerning her faithfulness to me. We broke up recently for about 2 weeks because she said i couldnt trust her (which i didnt at the time), but we did get back together and things have been going great. Its all about this guy she works with, she says hes just a really good friend but I think otherwise.. its not that i dont trust her, its that im afraid of loosing her.. she stays after work late once in a while, and she goes out with him at least once a week. Maybe im just a mad jealous boyfriend but i dont know what else to do, ive talked to her several times about this and she just keeps getting even more angry because she says i cant trust her. What else is there to do? How can i find the truth?

[emma34]

This is a difficult question since she is serious about you trusting her.. Sometimes when someone gets very defensive about 'trusting' it means that they have something to hide - but because i don't know your girlfriend, this of course is not necessarily true in your case. Since obviously you are having trouble just sitting back n' watching her go out and work with this guy often, involve yourself. Make friends with him. Why not? Next time you and ur girl are going out to a movie or something, invite friends, make it a group thing, and advise her to invite that guy. Say you wanna get to know him. Since he's a part of her life, why not yours too? I don't know if this helped your situation, but of course I would always advise just to trust, because if shes cheating on you, she'll either learn to stop, or it'll come out and you'll find out anyway.

[DN]

she may not be cheating physically but she may well be cheating emotionally. If she talks about things friends talk about that is one thing but if she has the sort of emotional connection she should have with you then you would be right to be uneasy.

 

Perhaps you need to talk to her and ask her what the friendship gives to her that she can't find with you. If she won't answer but just gets angry because she says you don't trust her, then she is being disrespectful of your feelings. One of the tests of a good relationship is that you care about your partner's well-being and happiness. If she dismisses your feelings and causes you more hurt then you should re-examine the relationship.

[Jimbo10]

she may not be cheating physically but she may well be cheating emotionally.

 

I totally agree

 

DN is write, you should talk to her, but make sure you don't seem jealous, or overprotective, or paranoid, or anything that could freak her out, or make her mad.

 

Good luck

Jimbo

[DN]

Possibly, but the opposite could also be true. People hiding the truth often get angry, or pretend anger, to camouflage their lies.

[bobo1]

Thank you everyone for your help, emma I am definatley going to try out your suggestion (this coming weekend) to go see a movie or have dinner or something with her friend. Again.. thank you everyone.

[PrincessLinzay]

I think that even if she wasn't cheating, she is still disregarding your feelings, which is unacceptable.

 

If your gut instinct is telling you something is going on, you're probably right. That little feeling is usually pretty accurate.

 

Either way, if the relationship is to continue, something needs to be done. In a committed relationship, both people have to respect their partners feelings, and also be aware that their actions affect another person. It's part of being in a relationship.

 

Hang in there and Good Luck!