in love

[charlotte_skye]

Im wondering........

 

ppl say how if you really love someone you will find a way o make the r/ship work. That loves takes over all other worries.

 

I wonder though...........my boyfriend of a yr and i have broken up. We broke up because he isnt ready for a forever r/ship , marrige etc, n thats what he has been brought up to believe "in love" means.

 

he suffers depression n cant exspress how he feels, he says it even gets to point where he doesnt know what hes feeling. He used to cry over frustartion of not being able to say how he felt.

 

Anyways im wondering.......if he really loved me wouldnt he be ready for it n be able to still be with me?

 

doesnt love, if u really are in love, sposed to mean u can conquer anything and make it work.?

 

orw hen ppl say if he really loves u itll work out mean that sure ppl even if they do really love u break up but because they really love u you will work it out in the end?

 

im so conused. can u be in love with someone but still break up?

[MetallicAguy]

He still loves you, it doesn't mean that if he acts differently than "I'll do anything for you" kinda thing, that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Come on he has depression. Personally I think you should sit down with him and get to the root of the depression. Ask him stuff if he was abused physically when he was a kid, anything traumatize him and change the way he was; stuff like that. And make sure he doesn't take any anti-depressants. Your more likely to harm yourself taking those then without them. You can only tell if he still loves you if you get to the root of this depression and keep it from happening again. If he's religious tell him to pray a lot and go to church on every sunday. The Power Of Positive Thinking(book) always works for ending depression. Not saying that it will work for sure but it has to be like a reference to him. And an answer to what you were wondering, he can't be ready for it, depression prevents you from being ready to do anything really if it's severe enough. I know I've had it.

[charlotte_skye]

Your name is a coincidence.....my exs fav band.

 

I wanted to thank you for your response.

 

I have spoken to him about his depression, but i cant force it because he REALLY cant exspress how he feels about things...........he starts cryin n gets really upset and frustrated, and i dont want to push it.

 

I just support him, i tell him im here n i write him happy positive emails n that so he knows im still here.

 

hes my best friend and our r/ship was thje most honest and respectful one i know of. I trust him.

 

I was just confused because ppl keep sayin if ppl really love u , you would still be toegther kinda thing, and i just dont kwno if its ever that black n white.

 

He said he didnt think he felt for me as much as i did him but that he often didnt knwo what he was truly feeling.

 

I guess like u say, u can love someone and be in love but other things u have to do before it can be a fair n honest and a r/ship that will work.

 

i guess sometimes u have to break up n work on yourself so u can get back together and for it to work.

 

anyone else agree?

[Zimetra]

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[boredguy]

It seems as though most of our minds have been influenced by the media to believe that love conquers all. Love is great, but we are all still human and we all have our weaknesses. be they mental, physical, or spiritual, they are there nonetheless. blaming someone for being in love and not being able to do something isnt really the best choice of thigns to do. we are all human. love does make a person do crazy things, but its not like spinach for popeye, and it cant make a person superman. sometimes, we have to get the harsh reality, that love itself isnt enough.

sorry...my post sounds liek a real downer...but sometimes reality hurts rite?

[charlotte_skye]

I agree also, i feel like love doesnt/cant conquer all.

 

but we all over analyze at times dont we, and wonder if what we think / feel is how others do also.

 

so i gues su guys are sayin that just because hes sufferng depression n isnt ready for commitment, n needs time no how own to work it out that it doesnt mean he doesnt love me?

[boredguy]

no not at all charlotte, we cannot tell you whether he loves you or not, the only person who can tell u that is him. just stick by him, and be supportive, eventually he will get over this phase and he will be able to speak his feelings.

[volution]

Love is not a magic spell that can wave a wand of right over that which previously was wrong.

This is why I believe many marriages break up - because people assume that somehow, getting married will change them and their situations - that everything will become easy.

Some people have children to 'shore up' their relationships, which I think is totally wrong.

All relationships require a certain level of maturity, insight and understanding from BOTH partners. If one or both of the partners are lacking on one or more of those prerequisites, then the relationship will inevitably encounter trouble and difficulties: - because as time goes on, the partners will have differing ideas and plans.

 

Believe me, purely loving someone isn't enough. Look at unrequited love. If this world were different, if we loved someone, and that's all we needed to do, to be with them, just to love them .... wouldn't the world be a magical place?

I used to believe that if only I loved someone long enough, then somehow, they would love me back. Sadly, in the physical world, love seldom works like that. Us naive, gentle souls, we have to learn hard.

Love is a gift, it is precious. We can't buy it. True love is unconditional. Unconditional love from another is the most beautiful thing in the world - it must be treasured. For seldom is it found. But it can do such things...